The book of love
by helaluvE
Summary: <html><head></head>There are things you cannot forget. Blaine and Kurt are about to find that out. Future fic includes all the glee clubbers and their kids .</html>
1. Of hospitals and monosyllabic morons

Disclaimer: they are not mine. Except Sam, Artie, Lauren and Mercedes' spouses and all the lovely kids. (I love writing future fics)

A/N: This was supposed to be a one shot but it turned out too long to be concidered such. I'll try not to delay the posting too much.

_**Part 1: Of hospitals and monosyllabic morons.**_

"Ladies," Blaine smiled charmingly, coming to stand in front of the nurses' office. A few months ago a smile of that caliber would have turned them all into puddles of wobbly smiles and flushed cheeks. Dr Anderson was that charming. However, the good nurses had learned that when Blaine tried to bring that much attention to his smile, it only meant one thing. He wanted something and you had better run... fast.

"What do you want?" Katie asked with an indulgent smile and a raised eyebrow. Katie Georges was Blaine's favorite nurse. She was 42, had a lovely little boy named Stuart and she had a terrific sense of humor. She also was a hard worker and she always had Blaine's back, no matter what. Katie also happened to be one of the few person who knew him very well. Which meant that she knew all of his tactics, especially that smile. The one that promised but also deceived.

"Can't a guy just drop by to say 'Hello'?" he tried with as much innocence as he could muster.

"You wouldn't," she answered with a smile. "So, I repeat, what do you want? And you better think hard before answering this time."

Blaine pouted at her no-nonsense tone of voice. "I need a favor," he confessed.

"Shocker," Lucy, one of the newest addition to the staff dead-panned. Blaine looked at her and winked for good measure. She rolled her eyes and grabbed a patient's chart before leaving.

"Out with it, Doctor," Katie all but ordered.

"I need you to come with me... somewhere next week," he said his eyes pleading.

"Somewhere, where?"

"This gala my mother is putting together..." as soon as the words were out, he saw the kind nurse's eyes harden.

"Nu-uh! You can take your pouts and your pretty eyes away from me," she said taking a file from the rack and walking around him toward a patient. Blaine followed, not ready to give up just yet.

"Pretty please," he begged coming to stand in front of her, effectively blocking her path. Katie sighed and crossed her arms. She might have glared as well but no one could really hold that against her. She adored Blaine, she really did. He was like a charming younger brother she could talk boys with. He was a kind man with a big heart and the best doctor she knew. However, if he kept inviting her to these stuffed up event concocted by his (bitch of a) mother, she was going to go Mohamed Ali on him.

"Blaine, honey, I love you with all my heart but there is no way in hell I'm going anywhere with you ever again!"

"That's a bit harsh," he winced.

"That's sugar coated."

"C'mon, Katie. It'll be... fun," he tried, clearly desperate now. He really didn't want to go anymore than she did but he had to and going alone was out of the question.

"Fun? Like the last time you said it would be fun? Remember the "fun" we had last time?" she asked raising an eyebrow. That eyebrow was scary; it never boded well for Blaine. "I remember a lot of drinking, a taxi ride from hell that included vomit and having to tuck you into bed. Shall I carry on?" She was getting worked up now and Blaine realized he had been defeated. Katie started walking again, hoping Blaine wouldn't follow.

"It wasn't that bad," he said appearing next to her again. Katie rolled her eyes.

"It was that bad and more. Not only the event on itself was boring, people kept staring at me as if I was a charity case," she held up her hand to stop Blaine from protesting. "Don't even bother denying it," she added. She watched her friend and the hurt and desperation in his eyes made her heart ache. She truly wished she could help him but she wasn't what Blaine needed. She took his hand and squeezed it gently.

"I'm not the solution. I can't be anymore, love," she finished. Katie leaned over to peck his cheek before walking down the hallway of the pediatric ward.

Blaine stood there for a while thinking about solutions that couldn't be found before sighing and heading back to work.

* * *

><p>"Is it going to hurt, Daddy?" Melisande Hudson-Berry asked, her warm, solemn brown eyes looking up at her father from the hospital bed.<p>

"Of course not, Jellybean," Finn Hudson, reassured with a smile. "You're going to go to sleep and when you'll wake up, you'll be as good as new and you won't even feel a thing."

"_And_, you'll get to eat loads of ice cream," a voice said from the doorway. Melisande looked around with a grin lighting up her pretty face.

"Uncle Kurt!" she exclaimed jumping from the bed and running towards her uncle. Kurt Hummel caught her in his arms and hugged her tight. Finn watched from the bedside with a grin similar to his daughter's.

"How are you, angel?" Kurt asked.

"I'm OK," the six year-old answered seriously with a vigorous nod of her head. Kurt often marveled how this little level-headed and stoic girl could be Finn and Rachel's kid. "Mama is a bit worried, though."

"Don't worry about Mama, she'll be fine," Kurt said with a smile and kissed her cheek sweetly. "You have got to stop growing up so fast, kiddo," he mock complained, putting her down with a huff. He turned to her father, "I suppose, I can only blame you for her growing pace," he smirked and Finn glared. Kurt brought Melody back to the bed and the two brothers exchanged hugs.

"Where's Rachel?" Surprisingly the question came from Finn who knew for a fact that every moment Rachel wasn't with her family, she was spending working with Kurt.

"Downstairs, finishing one last phone call."

"You guys work too hard. Sometimes I wonder who's really married to whom," Finn smirked at Kurt's outraged expression.

"Bite your tongue!" A pair of voices chorused. Melody, Finn and Kurt turned to see Rachel Berry coming into the room. Finn laughed at the shocked expression on the two other adults' faces.

"See? Married couple!" he said coming over to smooch his wife.

"We are officially spending too much time together," Rachel said to Kurt before turning to her daughter and hugging her. "Hello, sweetheart," she smiled.

"I'm gonna grab a coffee. Do you guys want anything?" Kurt asked, heading for the door.

"The usual," Rachel said.

"I'll come with you and you can tell me what the "usual" is," Finn said as he joined him at the door He grinned broadly at Kurt who only shook his head resignedly. They made their way to the vending machines, catching up on the event of the week.

Kurt and Finn's relationship had grown in strength with every passing years. Even when Kurt moved to New York for college and Finn stayed in Ohio, the two brothers "from another mother" made everything they could to be more than just two people who had parents married to each other. Their respective careers took them all over the country but Furt's bond became unbreakable as they shared every insignificant details about each other's lives. Not to mention that if it weren't for Kurt, Rachel wouldn't have come back in Finn's life. For that only, he would always love his diva of a brother.

"So did you find your Brittany?" Finn asked with a smile. He sipped at his coffee marveling at the wonder that were Rachel and Kurt. A year ago, after they had both led successful careers in Broadway and on the small screen, they decided to put together a musical. It was about a bunch of misunderstood teenagers in a small town high school who had joined a glee club. Obviously, they had to dug deep for that one. A fantastic idea on paper, of course. However, they had not thought about the atrocious nightmare that would be the casting process.

Kurt rolled his eyes at his brother's taunting. "Why did we even bother?" he asked with a frustrated sigh.

"Because our glee club would have been a lot more boring without dear Brittany," Finn answered and Kurt was chagrined to realize that he was right. Nonetheless, he was in a too much of bad mood (after spending the day looking at blond bimbos all day, butchering up his words) to let him know. Instead, he snorted.

"Pluh-ease! Brittany or not, there was enough drama going on to make a TV show. We could have used a bit of boring."

Finn laughed. "True. Still, you need a Brittany. Her character is fun and loveable and those dance moves... Dude! Plus, she'd never forgive you if you cut her out."

He was right again so Kurt just sighed... again.

"I guess it's the problem when you base your work on real people. Either they get pissed at you or you can't find someone as fabulous as they are to play them," he said before sipping his coffee and wincing at the horrible taste. Finn chuckled at his acerbic tone. "Don't you dare laugh at me Finn Hudson! Trying to cast someone to play your wife was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. And I worked as a waiter in the Village!" Finn only laughed harder.

"Oh please! Rachel cries every time she remembers the 'Kurt/Carl debacle' as she calls it," Finn said giving him a look. Strangely, Kurt was reminded of Burt. His father looked at him the same way when Kurt was using hyperbole every two sentences. Carl was the name of the character based on himself. It took four months to find a decent actor to interpret him. "It's amazing you two not only wrote a whole musical together, chose to direct it but also manage to _not_ kill each other," Finn said his eyes dancing.

"It's a daily struggle," Kurt tried to contain his smile, to no avail.

* * *

><p>And then Daniel pushed me and I fell on the wet sand but I don't care Mama because I was right and he was wrong," Blaine heard the little girl as he entered the room. Her mother had her back turned to him, she chuckled at her daughter's tipped up chin.<p>

"Of course you were, angel," she said tenderly, running her fingers through the little girl's chocolate locks. They kept talking softly and Blaine would have made his presence known, except he had recognized the woman's voice.

Rachel Berry's voice.

He almost smiled. He wanted to, his lips even twitched. He had always liked Rachel. She was a complicated woman but she had a heart of gold. She also loved Kurt dearly and for that only she would always have a special place in Blaine's heart.

That being said, the shock of seeing her again after all this time wasn't something he was prepared for. Oh sure, he had seen her on stage. He had been to every new show she appeared in (he even sent her flowers for ever premiere) and he watched _Audrey's secret life_ religiously. It hurt, the memories and the hope, they hurt so very much but he still watched. However, he was pretty sure that pain was nothing compared to the one he was about to experience.

You can run, you can hide, you can start over and pretend but the past had a way of coming back to haunt you.

He'd been watching the little girl while he was... Let's just say having a mental meltdown. She as absolutely gorgeous. Big brown eyes that held too much intelligence, dark shiny hair and cute little dimples when she smiled. She looked a lot like Rachel but there was something quirky and shy about that smile. It reminded him of Finn. Finn always smiled like that; with his heart.

He didn't know how long he stayed like that, staring at his new patient and wondering if he had enough of a lifetime to get over heartache. It didn't look like fifteen years were enough. You could still miss someone as much as when they left. The thought of them still made your heart skip a beat. The memory of them could still make you ache.

It was mini Rachel who shook him from his dark thoughts and surprisingly he was happy about that. He had been about to run and give the file to another doctor. Someone who didn't know that Rachel Berry, the Broadway phenomenon and TV star had been the only girl he had ever kissed. He wasn't a quitter, though so he was grateful to the little girl when she spoke to him.

"Hello, Doctor," she said turning big coffee eyes towards him. Rachel who had started to get up, turned around and froze mid-action. The last time he had seen her so surprised was when she saw Sue dressed as David Bowie.

Blaine smiled a bit at the expression on her face. "Hi."

"Blaine?"

"The one and only," he said with an apologetic shrug. Even to his own ears that sounded lame.

"What are you doing here?" she asked taking in his scrubs and the stethoscope around his neck. He saw comprehension settle in her eyes and he simply nodded. The awkward moment was broken by a small voice.

"He's my doctor, Mama," the 'duh!' was implied of course. Blaine smiled genuinely at the little angel. Rachel tore her eyes away from his person to smile at her daughter.

"Yes, he is, baby girl. Dr. Anderson is a friend of mine," she said taking her daughter's left hand.

"Cool! I'm Melisande Hudson-Berry," she introduced herself holding her right hand out to Blaine. He grinned warmly, there really was something special about her. He took her minuscule hand in his and shook it with all the seriousness he could muster.

"Nice to meet you, Melisande Hudson-Berry. I'm Dr. Blaine Anderson."

"You have caramel eyes," she replied. "I like it."

He laughed, he couldn't help it."Thank you." I looked over at Rachel. She was smiling distractedly, her eyes not leaving his face. God, this was going to be torture. "I have to talk to your mother for a moment. Do you mind if we step outside for a bit?"

"I don't mind," she shrugged before grabbing the remote control and switching on the TV. Rachel leaned down to kiss her daughter's hair.

"You be good. We'll be right outside if you need anything. We'll even leave the door open"

"You worry too much, Mama. Uncle Kurt says it's not good for your skin," Melisande replied without looking away from the TV. Of course she couldn't have realized the effect the K bomb would have on her doctor. Blaine's step faltered as he headed for the door but he managed to reach it without any more misstep. If Rachel noticed anything, she was kind enough not say anything. They finally reached the hallway and faced each other. It was a weird moment. He couldn't speak for Rachel but for him it was simply bizarre to be standing here, with her. The knowledge that uncle Kurt would probably appear sometime in the near future was something Blaine was desperately trying to not think about.

"So... This is-" he'd been trying to lighten up the mood with a silly, probably inane joke, but he was interrupted by Rachel's arms which were wrapping around him.

"Hi," she whispered softly and he relaxed. He embraced her tightly and smiled a bit.

"Hi, Rachel. Long time, huh?"

"Too long," she concurred before letting go. "It's good to see you."

He nodded. It was good to see her too, despite... Everything. She looked him up and down and her warm brown eyes lit up mischievously. She brushed invisible dust from his scrubs. "Doctor Anderson," she said wiggling her eyebrows. "I dig it."

Blaine blushed. He knew she was teasing but he had never really been comfortable receiving compliments. "Stop it," he mumbled and she laughed. He turned to peek into the room. Melisande was engrossed in whatever cartoon she was watching.

"She is gorgeous," he said smiling easily. Rachel beamed at him.

"I know."

"Where's Finn?" Her smile suddenly faded and she averted her eyes. She suddenly looked a bit sad and he thought he might have said the wrong thing. Had something happened to Finn? To their marriage?

"He's getting some coffee," she said still not looking at him. He frowned. Why would that make her look like someone ran over her puppy. "He's with Kurt," she finally said looking at him and he froze at the expression in her eyes. It wasn't sad, it was apologetic.

"Oh," it was funny how some news could turn the most eloquent of men into monosyllabic morons.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. There was nothing to be sorry about, of course and yet there was. He wanted to say something but his fingers were shaking and he thought the level of oxygen might have dropped because he couldn't breathe anymore. This was ridiculous. It's been fifteen years. _Fifteen years._ This didn't have to be a big deal. It was bound to be awkward, of course but it wasn't as if he and Kurt left in bad terms. They had been gentlemen about it, mature and understanding. It was also the hardest thing Blaine had to go through but there was no reason for that information to slip through. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, he tried to smile but it must have looked more like a grimace because Rachel's eyes filled with compassion. And, somehow, that hurt more than he could have imagined. He had never really left like he'd been dumped until he saw Rachel look at him with compassion.

* * *

><p>"Artie called this morning," Finn said as they made their way down another hallway. "He says they'll be there Friday evening."<p>

"Good. Santana and Britt are flying over tomorrow with the kids. Mercedes, Rick, Lauren and Eric are taking the same flight on Saturday morning," Kurt said with a smile. All their friends were flying over for Will's birthday on Sunday. Will was Finn and Rachel's second child. He was only four but had the energy of ten Rachel Berrys.

"Zoe is making the cake," Finn said and Kurt nearly moaned aloud at the thought. Zoe, Sam's wife was a chef pâtisser here in a New York and she was so talented, Kurt almost believed in heaven every time he tasted one of her carrot cakes.

"What about Puck and Quinn?"

"They're baby-sitting Will as we speak. Tina and Mike are planning a dinner on Saturday. How we're going to find a baby-sitter for seventeen kids in four days is beyond me," Finn sighed. They turned around a corner and saw Rachel talking to a doctor in the hallway outside Melisande's room.

"Are you kidding? Mike's toy room will be baby-sitter enough," Kurt said distractedly. Rachel looked worried. Finn followed his eyes and frowned. Kurt kept looking at the pair; something was amiss but that wasn't the only reason he kept staring. The doctor, although still turned toward Rachel, looked familiar. At least, his back and his posture, and those hair did. He only knew one person who had hair that dark. The curls were a bit more chaotic, though. Kurt had not realized he had stopped breathing until he felt Finn's hand on his shoulder. He couldn't be certain and yet he was. He let the coffee cup slip from his fingers and the splash of horrid coffee on the floor made Rachel and the doctor -Kurt couldn't bring himself to even think his name- turned around.

"Oh," he breathed as he locked gaze with his only regret in life.

Yes it was amazing how some situation could turn the most eloquent of men into monosyllabic morons.

A/N: questions, thoughts? Bring it :)


	2. Of dinners and dares

Disclaimer: I do not own the original characters. The rest is miiiine!

A/N: A big warm thank you to Star for being my beta and being generally awesome!

_**Part II: Of dinners and dares.**_

Information traveled fast. Especially nowadays. However the speed with which the news of Blaine's return traveled throughout the group of friends was outstanding. Two hours later they were live chatting about it. 'They' meaning everyone besides the main witnesses of the event. The main consensus was "Holy crap!". Action needed to be taken but after hours of discussion they all seemed to come to the same conclusion: there was nothing they could do but wait. Rachel had quickly texted Mercedes to let her know that Kurt had left soon after he saw Blaine. She was kind enough not to mention that he almost ran out of there as if evil dogs were chasing him. He had mumbled a quiet 'Hello' before "remembering" that he had a dentist appointment. He didn't dare look at Blaine. He just ran and dialed Aidan's number. They made quick arrangement to see each other and he hung up before shutting off his phone. He was always great at dealing with things no matter their implications but now... now he needed to forget and not feel anything for a few hours.

* * *

><p>"He's gonna see <em>him<em>," Finn sighed.

Rachel frowned. "You don't know that."

"Don't I? I saw him take out his phone before the turned around that corner," he said putting his arm around his petite wife. They were still at the hospital. Blaine had taken Melisande into surgery to remove her tonsils. Rachel and Finn had remained in her small room, torn between worrying for their child or her uncle.

"Kurt is an adult, Finn," she was still frowning (scowling really) when she said that so Finn knew she hated the Aidan situation as much he did.

Aidan had become that relationship for Kurt. They were nothing to each other besides easy escape from reality. Aidan was a wannabe actor that Kurt had met a few years back. Finn had never liked the guy. There was something unpleasant about him. Something that you couldn't really explain but that made Finn more than a little uncomfortable.

He pulled Rachel closer and kissed her temple. There was nothing to be done except take a deep breath and pray for the best.

Melisande's surgery went without problem and she was released that day, despite Rachel's mighty scowl.

"Are you sure it's alright for her to go home?"

Blaine smiled reassuringly, too used to overprotective parents. "You have nothing to worry about except what ice cream flavor she's going to have."

"Uncle Kurt said I could have as much I want," Melisande smiled up unaware of the awkwardness around her.

"He's... Um, he's right. I'll see you in a week to make sure that everything is fine, okay?"

"OK, caramel-eyes," she grinned and despite the emotional turmoil he had just been through, he smiled warmly at her. Blaine turned to her parents who were smiling proudly.

"It was good to see you, guys," he said truthfully. They nodded at him.

After a moment of shifty eyes and throat clearing, Rachel broke the silence. "We didn't know you live in New York."

"I moved here after my internship."

"Small world," Finn mumbled. He had a knack for making difficult situations even more awkward than they were.

And suddenly, Blaine had the urge to laugh. Suddenly he remembered the good times. The laughter, the songs, the hugs, the sleepovers, winning Nationals with McKinley. He remembered friendship and easy talking and the constant drama and how perfectly chaotic that year he spent at McKinley had been. They had been crazy and memorable and they had been the best. He remembered that before the heartache there had been joy. Pure, simple joy. It was good to remember what had mattered.

"My shift is over. Wanna grab a coffee? It tastes absolutely awful but I'd like to catch up, if that's alright," he asked.

Finn and Rachel looked at each other for a second and then they nodded, throwing him smiles. So they went down to the cafeteria and they talked. They told him about the Center of the Arts that the glee club, Emma, Will and Coach Sue had opened a few years back in Lima. They told him about marital bliss and how it was all a myth. Finn was a guidance counselor in a New York high school. Rachel had been cast to play in London's Wicked right after high school. When she came back to New York a couple of years later, she played in several other musicals before being cast by ABC for the main role of the smash hit Audrey's secret life. A dramedy about a diva who helped disadvantaged kids find their way to their dreams. The show had lasted for five seasons before Rachel had decided to invest herself in the creation of an original musical. She also had a couple of chick flicks under her belt but that was just Rachel. When she put her mind to something, it happened.

He learned that his old classmates had all settled down and were fairly happy.

Mercedes had made it as a singer in L.A (three albums, many awards and she was now an American Idol judge) but of course, he already knew that. Lauren was her agent and she had her own E! Show. Funnily enough they had married brothers. Richard Cooper was Mercedes' husband, he was a Literature teacher in high school. They had two kids together; Ryan (4) and Charlotte (2). Eric Cooper, Rick's brother, was a journalist.

San Evans was now a fairly well known photographer. He married Zoe Massie, who was famous for her cupcakes and other tastes of heaven. She owned several bakeries around New York called, Zoe's Heaven. Penny (11) and Harry (9) were their beautiful children.

After a series of jobs that had absolutely no links to each other, Puck had opened his own garage in New Jersey. He specialized in fixing bikes. As for Quinn, she did become a real-state agent in Ohio and was pretty successful but being successful isn't all that interesting when you're not really happy doing what you do. So when the opportunity arose to be a kindergarten teacher in New Jersey, she took it. And after almost two decades of playing a game of cat and mouse, she and Puck started dating. No wedding plans so far but it shouldn't be long, or at least that's what Rachel said.

Blaine was not really surprised to learn that Mike and Tina's relationship had survived college, long distance and different careers. Mike was a famous choreographer and Tina had become a G.P. They lived in Manhattan and were the proud parents of David and Patrick (twins- 8) and Elsa (5).

Artie took his brilliance and general awesomeness and went on to become a physicist. He now taught Physics at M.I.T. He was married to Alexandra Hotchkiss, respected astrophysicist from London. They too have three kids: Paul (7), Lucy (5) and Adam (3).

Perhaps the most surprising of them all was Santana who had become a social worker in Lima. During her last year of college where she studied law, she got to see more closely the wrong sides of things. She finished college and went back to Lima to work with the social services. Brittany had become the new Cheerios coach at WMHS and was the dance teacher at the Center of the arts. Fate always found a way to work its magic and the rest is history as they say. They adopted two kids: Max (10) and Maria (7).

Blaine was truly amazed that they all had remained so close to each other. It was sad to say but he only vaguely remembered some oh his classmates' names. He only remained friends with some of the warblers and his only close friends from that time were David, Wes and Jeff. After spending half an hour catching up about the New Directions kids, he was blown away to realize that they all basically lived with each other, even though they were scattered around the country.

"This is amazing, guys," he said with a baffled shake of his head. The coffee had grown cold and they were smiling amicably at each other. Melisande was seating between her parents, coloring a book. She kept glancing up at him and smiling as if she knew him.

"It hasn't always been easy but we managed," Finn said with a shrug of his big shoulders.

"Oh from what I hear, you more than just "managed". Rachel, you were absolutely amazing in Mamma Mia!"

Blaine had to blink at the proud grin Finn bestowed on him. Rachel smiled like someone who had never gotten used to receiving compliments but Finn's whole face lit up with fierce love.

"Thank you," Rachel said.

"And do your kids all get along?" Blaine asked tilting his chin toward Melisande.

"Well, so far there's seventeen of them and they don't get to see each other that much but so far so good," Rachel explained.

"Ask us again in ten years," Finn sighed and Blaine burst out laughing.

They were quiet for a while, thinking about the past and how one day a chance meeting can make you realize how fast everything goes by.

Rachel cleared her throat and Finn shot her a glance. Throat clearing from Rachel meant she was up to something.

"You know, we'll be celebrating Will's birthday on Sunday and everybody is coming over," she started and Blaine shifted in his chair. He prayed silently that she wouldn't go where he thought she was going.

"That's nice. How old is Will?"

"He'll be four, next week. Anyways, Tina and Mike are throwing a pre-birthday diner party on Saturday-"

"Rachel," Finn interrupted, his tone warning.

His wife chose to ignore that completely. "Everybody is going to be there and I'm sure they'd all love to see you again."

Blaine closed his eyes as if in pain. She did go there but then again, he wasn't really surprised. It was Rachel, after all.

"I'm not sure it's such a good idea," he finally said. His voice had suddenly gone hoarse and he barely recognized it. "Don't get me wrong. It was really great catching up and I'd love to see the rest of the gang but..." he sighed trying to find the words when clearly there weren't any.

"Yeah, we know," Finn spared him.

After that, the spell was broken and reality came crashing back in. So, they exchanged good byes and hugs and they parted ways at the cafeteria door. Blaine watched them go, his heart aching in the most bittersweet of ways. He was about to turn around when he saw Melisande running back to him. She was smiling that beautiful smile and he couldn't help but smile back. She skidded to a stop in front of him and crouched down so they were eyes to eyes. She extended her small hand and he saw a slip of paper in it.

"This is for you caramel-eyes," she said softly. He chuckled at the nickname and took the piece of paper from her. She leaned over to kiss his cheek and hug him. He was a bit surprised by the gesture and looked up to see Rachel smiling at them. He remembered that she had mentioned earlier how affectionate her daughter could be. "You must be the Prince," she softly in his ear before running out of his arms and towards her parents. Blaine frowned at her words and looked at the paper, hoping it would explain her whispered words. It didn't.

_154 7th av & 14th st._

_Dinner is at 8._

His lips turned up. When did Rachel write this?

* * *

><p>It was 6 P.M and the sky was darkening with big angry gray clouds. He was still sitting on this filthy bench. He had been sitting here for three hours, now, not being able to make a decision. He crossed his arms, huffed and scowled for good measure. He didn't need this. He was fine just the way he was. He had a fantastic career, fabulous friends; his family was as close as it could be... He had his own fashion line for crying out loud! He didn't need Blaine Freaking Anderson to mess with his head now.<p>

He looked down at his still turned off phone and sighed . He thought about his friends and wondered how crazy they had gone over that piece of gossip, because there was no way something as huge as that had stayed secret for more than 60 seconds after he had left the building. At this point nearly eight hours after the happening, given the quality of the scoop and the fact that he had technologically cut himself off the gossip chain, the crazy barometer must have exploded. He almost smiled at that image. He thought about turning his phone back on just to read some of the jewels they had sent him (especially Santana and her razor sharp tongue) but then Aidan came to mind and he shoved the phone back in his pocket.

He looked down at his coffee stained shoes and pants and winced. They were definitely ruined. It was a testament to his state of mind that he hadn't thought of them until now. He didn't even think about changing after leaving the hospital.

The hospital.

_Blaine._

Doctor Anderson. Damn, that was hot!

He closed his eyes and tried to imagine a world where that image didn't cause pain. It didn't work; there was no such world and the pain was very real. It tore his heart and scattered its pieces all over his chest. He'd thought that after fifteen years it wouldn't still bringing tears to his eyes but he already felt traitor prickling at the corner of his eyes. Apparently, pain only gained strength when teamed up with guilt.

Pain he could deal with; he had done so too many times to count. Guilt was a whole other story. His eyes still closed, he thought about Blaine and him for the first time in years.

They'd been so happy; happier than he remembered ever being. Sure, they had been young and kind of naive but that didn't change the fact. They had been really happy. And that had been the problem. He'd had time to think about it. Fifteen years, and too many sleepless nights to count, had given him plenty enough time.

There had been so much laughter. Sometimes they'd laughed so hard together, his tummy would ache for hours. There had been sweet, lovely, lush kisses. There had been more than kisses. There had been songs and piano lessons and serenades. It had been so simple, so effortless, so brilliant. Around them couples had emerged and disintegrated with more frequency than their glee club meetings but they had remained strong; they had run the distance. Ironic to think about it that way, now but it was true and despite some downs, their ups had been beautiful. Kurt had made a great job at hiding it, but when the time came to make a decision, it had terrified him. _What if we don't make it? What if he found someone else? What if we can't concentrate on our studies because of our love trouble and one of us loses everything we had work so hard to achieve? What then? Will he resent me? Will he stop loving me?_ Those were the questions plaguing his mind at night when he couldn't sleep.

He hadn't wanted his memories of those special months to be spoiled by the bitterness of a long distance relationship. So, on the very last day of summer, the day Blaine was supposed to drive with him to New York and to Julliard, Kurt ended it. To this day, it was the hardest thing he had ever done. Both literally and figuratively. Blaine had refused to listen. They had talked for hours, they had argued, they had fucked, they had cried, they had screamed, they had made love and they had cuddled but in the end, Kurt couldn't, wouldn't change his mind. It had been exhausting and he had never hated himself more but he did it. He ended his relationship with Blaine and he broke both their hearts in the process.

Kurt felt something cold on his cheek and it took him a few seconds to understand that it wasn't raining. He wiped the tear away and tried to erase the memory of Blaine's face on that hot summer day fifteen years ago. He looked at the building in front of him and sighed. Aidan was bound to be angry. Hell, by now he must be seething... Or maybe not. It wasn't like they owed each other anything. However it was the epitome of rudeness to make plans with somebody and then, instead of showing up, spend the rest of the day staring at the apartment's building of said somebody. Kurt was sure he'd have to delete at least one angry voice mail later.

Almost as soon as he'd made that blasted phone call as he was walking (quickly) away from the hospital, he'd regretted it. He hadn't seen Aidan in weeks and to be blunt, he wasn't too heart broken about it. However this morning, the shock of seeing Blaine... It had been too much. He'd needed to forget and Aidan was always the fastest way to oblivion. However when the taxi had dropped him here, he hadn't been able to go inside. So, he sat on this dirty bench and just stared at the building all day long. He wasn't used to the feeling of helplessness. He liked control; being in charge. Right now, he felt more out of control than ever and it needed to stop. _'Think about something nice,'_ he told himself.

So of course, he thought of Melisande and Will. His adorable and utterly too loveable for their own good niece and nephew. That however didn't make him feel much better about himself. He'd promised Melisande he'd be there for the surgery but he'd missed it. Tired of feeling guilty, he took out his cell phone and turned it on. The assault of emails, texts and missed calls was almost overwhelming. He ignored them for the time being, scrolled down his list of contacts and called Finn.

"Hi," his brother said after the first ring. His voice sounded odd; a bit unsure. Kurt rolled his eyes; he knew that tone of voice. Finn had never been good at hiding stuff. He really was like a giant kid, sometimes. Kurt chose to ignore that for the time being and stored his questions for another time. "You alright?"

"Fine. How's Melisande?"

"She's well. She's eating ice cream and watching Aladdin... Again." Kurt could hear the smile in his brother's voice. For some inane reason, he had to fight tears again. He cleared his throat before speaking again.

"Good. Can I... Er, can I come over? I still have to finish telling her that bedtime story."

"As if you needed to ask, dude" he could almost hear Finn rolling his eyes. Kurt got up from the bench and went to the curb to hail a cab.

"OK, I'll be there in an hour. Tell Rachel that right now I need food like she needs Barbara Streisand," he drawled and his brother laughed.

"I'll tell her. See you in a bit."

"Bye, Finn."

They hung up and Kurt jumped into a cab. He closed his weary eyes on a sigh. He managed to hold the tears until he was home and by the time he was under the shower, he let the sobs overtake him.

* * *

><p>"Charlotte Mary Cooper, if you don't stop running right now, there will be no desert for you!" Mercedes called after her daughter. Charlotte came to an abrupt stop and turned to pout at her mother.<p>

"Does she think it'll work?" Kurt chuckled from where he was standing, next to Mercedes.

"She forgets that I invented and mastered that look," she said raising an impatient eyebrow at her daughter. Charlotte sighed, flicked her hair and marched out of the room, her pretty nose in the air.

"She's got attitude," Zoe smiled at Mercedes.

"That's how we roll," Mercedes laughed and Kurt high fived her.

"Where is that man?" Alexandra Abrams exclaimed coming into the kitchen. Her gorgeous red mane seemed to vibrate with the force of her frustration.

"If you're referring to your husband, he's probably with the rest of them in the toy room," Rachel supplied sipping her iced tea.

"And by 'them' she means those immature Neanderthals we call husbands," Lauren explained further.

"They went in there half an hour ago and they have yet to emerge," Quinn added.

"Mike bought a new toy," Tina said with a mischievous smile.

"And by 'toy' she means a sixteen foot wide trampoline," Kurt smirked.

"We probably won't be seeing them before next week," Rachel said.

"Or when they get hungry," Tina countered.

"Whichever comes first," Mercedes laughed.

"Let's hope no one gets hurt," Alexandra said looking worried and rightfully so, Kurt thought. The possibilities of injuries were very real and the means were endless. That toy room of Mike's was heaven and hell, it really depended on who you asked. Alexandra kept glancing at the door as if she expected one or several of the kids to come running in bleeding out.

"Don't fret, we've become pros at tending to boo-boos," Kurt said patting her hand.

"Hell, by now we're almost doctors," Quinn exclaimed. She had meant it as a joke towards Tina who was already a doctor but it fell flat when Kurt's face blanked and she realized she just had a severe attack of the Footinmouthitis. The friends exchanged uncomfortable glances. It had been four days since the "incident" and Kurt had yet to mention it to any of them. To say that they were all dying for information was the understatement on the decade. Not the century, though since Kurt had made them go through the same thing in the previous decade. There was only two people who knew what happened that day; one of them had cut himself off their lives and the other one was as talkative on the subject as mute and deaf person.

The gang had been kind enough not to pressure him for information. The only ones acting strangely were Finn and Rachel. Kurt had attributed it to the fact that they were his closest friends. They'd always been too protective of him. Now, however, as he watched his sister-in-law and co director avert her eyes from his, he wondered if something else was going on.

"Rach-," he started but was interrupted by the door-bell.

"I'll get it," she said before jumping out of her chair and running to the door.

"The party don't start 'til I walk in," a familiar voice sang from the hall and the group of friends gathered around Tina's kitchen table laughed. A few seconds later, Brittany, Santana, Max and Maria made their entrance.

* * *

><p>"Mom! I'm starving," Patrick complained a few moments later. He rubbed his tummy for good measure and Tina rolled her eyes.<p>

"Yes, Mom! We're starving," Sam whined with a smirk. He came to stand next to Patrick and put his hand on his shoulder. He had an identical misunderstood and abandoned male expression on his face and one of his numerous cameras hanging from around his neck. He turned to look at his wife who tried to look irritated but instead looked more like an infatuated teenager. Sam snatched a picture before she had time to react; Zoe glared and he blew her a kiss. Kurt didn't know if he was jealous or nauseous. Both, he decided.

It only took a few seconds for the rest of the kids (male adults included) to pile up in the kitchen. It was a huge room but it wasn't made to contain seventeen hungry kids and seventeen adults.

"Let's start, shall we?" Mike asked and everybody helped get the table ready. There was a flurry of movement, a lot of noise and Tina lost a few dishes on the way but they managed to transfer all the food and drinks to Tina's unbelievably long dinner table. Quite an achievement considering the amount of food she had prepared and the food everybody had brought along.

"Colour me impressed," Eric said from his side of the table. There was an enthusiastic chorus of agreement. Tina blushed a little before ordering them to "Just eat!".

Kurt looked around himself and smiled. They'd done it again. They had managed to all come together once more. This bizarre group of friends that couldn't seem to live without each other. He loved it. His wandering eyes came to rest upon Rachel and he was surprised to see her eating quietly. It wasn't like her; usually this far into the meal, she'd be boring everyone with a casting story of some sorts. She always had one ready, just in case. Not tonight, though. She just ate quietly and would occasionally pause to glance at her watch. Something was definitely amiss, Kurt decided. He really hoped it had nothing to do with _Glory days_. They were so close to having everything ready; he couldn't bear a new problem, not this week. He sighed and decided to worry about it another day. That was what Mondays were for anyway.

Dinner was a very loud and heart-warming affair. With so many young children to feed and look after, it was mostly chaotic but Kurt and the rest of them wouldn't have it any other way. Between moments of reprimand, the adults regaled themselves with juicy gossip (famous and not so famous), they made plans to visit the Center of the arts soon and put together a show. And of course there was talk about the musical. Kurt and Rachel were the heads behind the music but each of them had participated a little bit. Some more than others. Especially Mike and Brittany who had created the choreography for the show. It had taken weeks and lots of trips between New York and Lima but they had managed and the co-directors were absolutely ecstatic about the results.

Just before desert, the door-bell rang. There was a slight pause, where almost everyone looked around as if to determine if someone was missing. _Almost_ everyone. Rachel and Finn looked more anxious than confused. Finn definitely looked worried and he was doing a poor job at evading Kurt's eyes. As for his wife, if she bit her lower lip any harder she was going to draw blood.

Kurt frowned. "Did you invite someone else?" he asked Tina. A thought suddenly occurred to him but he dismissed it before it could solidify. It couldn't be. They wouldn't have dared do that to him. As soon as he thought that, he froze because Rachel Berry? She dared on a daily basis. It was her motto in life.

"Well, Dave said he'd try to come," Santana volunteered.

"Yeah, but he said he could only fly over tomorrow," Puck countered.

"Would someone, please, go answer the door?" Zoe finally said rolling her pretty green eyes.

Kurt had yet to draw a proper breath.

"I'm on it," Melisande said already on her feet.

"Wait!" Puck called but she was almost at the door. He followed her anyway. "Six year-old aren't supposed to answer the door," he grumbled at her.

"I'm perfectly capable of handling this," she protested. The group laughed at her serious tone.

"Move away, bug," Puck chuckled. There was a pause where they heard the door being pulled open and Kurt tried very hard to stay conscious.

"Prince Caramel-eyes!" Melisande exclaimed and Kurt closed his eyes for a moment. He knew that nickname. Rachel had dared. He opened his eyes to glare at the Hudson-Berry couple just when Puck's voice floated over to them.

"Holy crap!"

A/N: if you stuck around for so long, why don't you leave me a comment?


	3. Of endings and new beginnings

Disclaimer: anything you recognize is not mine.

A/N: I'm sending all my love and respects and unicorns and rainbows for Star who helped a lot with this chapter and is my fabulous beta!

_**Of endings and new beginnings.**_

Blaine had suspected that his (late) arrival to dinner would have some kind of effect. He had not realized that the effect in question would rival the one of the A bomb.

"Er... Hi," he said lamely with a slight wave. No one replied. Some of them, the ones Blaine didn't yet know, exchanged looks with others before smiling slightly and awkwardly. The rest of them, his once upon a lifetime ago friends, just stared at him, mouths hanging open with almost identical frowns on all their faces. Blaine could almost see the collective 'WTF?' cloud forming above their heads.

It was a lot to take in, and not just for them. There had to be at least forty people in the room. Tina's dinner's room table looked endless. There were old and beloved faces, new faces, young innocent faces. All around, lots of faces, just gaping at him. He felt a small hand wrap around his and he looked down to see Melisande smiling up at him in encouragement. She gave a little tug and he let her lead him toward the table. Right now, it seemed like the easiest thing to do; the best distraction possible. Those few steps and her lovely smile gave Blaine the excuse to not look at the rest of them -him- for a few seconds and take a deep breath.

"Here," she said and pulled up a chair between a dark haired boy who held a striking resemblance to Mike and a little girl with vivid red hair and freckles covering every inch of her cute little face. They looked up at him, as is trying to place him. "You can sit here," Melisande added with a little shove. Blaine grinned at her and did as he was told, still very conscious of the numerous pair of eyes turned on him. Melisande waited until he was seated before climbing on his lap.

"Hi," she smiled, her cheeks dimpling enchantingly.

"Hi," he replied in a whisper, unable to contain a smile of his own.

"I don't know what exactly is going on, but someone needs to diffuse the tension before we all choke on it," a tall dark and handsome fellow drawled and managed to get a few chuckles for his efforts. He was seating between Mercedes and Santana. A little girl was sitting on his lap and was busy destroying the piece of bread he had given her a few seconds ago.

"Maybe someone could make the presentations," another new addition to the group suggested. Blaine took a closer look around the table. He could see four new faces amongst the adults. The woman who had just spoken was a pretty blond with a round face, huge green eyes the color of grass in late spring and a wide, kind smile. She was sitting next to Sam who had an arm draped over the back of her chair. She must be Zoe, the angel baker, Blaine concluded.

Tina cleared her throat and the sound seemed loud in the awkward silence that had followed Zoe suggestion. "OK, I'll just power through, then," she volunteered with a tight smile. "This is Richard Cooper, 'Cedes' husband," she started pointing at the man with the girl on his lap. Slowly but surely, Tina made her way around the table, introducing each new member of the group as well as the kids who, beside Melisande, barely paid attention to what was happening.

Blaine smiled at all of them, trying to not let his overwhelming feelings take control of him. He'd known perfectly well that coming here tonight was a very bad idea. He knew that it would be awkward and difficult but the temptation had been too great. These people had once been his friends. They had been such a huge part of his life and it was only when he sat down for coffee with Rachel and Finn that he had realized how very much he had missed. It wasn't to say that he had never thought of them; it was just that he hadn't allowed himself to dwell on the past for too long.

After the break up he had cut all ties with them. He had changed his phone number; he had erased his Facebook and Twitter accounts and all of their numbers. He knew it had been selfish and that he had probably hurt all of them but it was the only way for him to survive the break up. Call it cowardice, or self-defense mechanism or whatever else comes to mind. At the time, it had helped him move on. There was also the fact that they were Kurt's friends first. Blaine knew that if it came

down to a choice, they'd leave him behind; so he took the decision out of their hands. He'd gone through so much pain already, he didn't want another rejection on his record.

Now however, fifteen years after the facts, he knew it had not been the best of choices.

"You didn't tell them you invited me?" he asked Rachel with a sigh. Ten heads turned to gape at poor Rachel. Finn was wincing in obvious discomfort whereas Eric, Richard, Alexandra and Zoe, who probably didn't have any idea of what was going on, looked more intrigued by the second. As for Kurt, when Blaine finally dared to look at him, he was just glaring at Rachel and Finn fiercely. He didn't look all that surprised, though.

"You invited him?" Mercedes sounded outraged. She had always been good to Blaine and she always had been just a little bit more special to him than the rest of them, besides Kurt. They had been very close and he understood that her fury was only a mask to hide the hurt he had caused her.

Blaine looked at her and he understood that simply showing up unannounced wasn't going to cut it. He was going to make amends and apologize. Time for the big guns, it seemed.

Rachel was stumbling through an explanation and nearly drowning under the questions thrown (mostly shouted) at her. Blaine decided to take matters into his own hands. He whistled loudly, making several of them jump around to look at him. Some giggles were heard and soon the children were pursing their lips in an effort to imitate him.

"Could we talk?" Blaine pleaded.

"Okay, everybody under the age of twelve, follow me," Alexandra got up and started gathering the kids. Blaine smiled gratefully at her.

"But... Dessert!" Patrick and David cried in dismay. Tina glared and pointed to the double doors. They grumbled under their breaths but followed Alexandra out of the room. Melisande gave a quick kiss to Blaine before joining her age group. He knew without really looking his way that Kurt had gotten up as well and was helping Alexandra evacuate the children from what would probably become a war zone.

Blaine squared his shoulders and locked his gaze on Mercedes. She was angrier than the rest of them and he thought that if he could make her understand the rest of them would follow. As a girl, Mercedes had always been the kind of person you couldn't take lightly; she wouldn't let you. As a grown woman, she was a sight to behold.

"Well?" she demanded crossing her arms and pinning him with a typical Mercedes eyebrow lift. Blaine felt a surge of affection so big it almost choked him. "Did you get lost?" Richard leaned into her and she seemed to breathe a little easier.

Blaine didn't really know how to start, so in the end he went with the truth.

"Mercedes, I'm sorry."

She scoffed loudly and he could see several member of the group agreeing with her non-verbal objection.

"Sorry ain't gonna cut it! It's been fifteen years!"

"I know."

"What makes you think you can just come here, throw a few smiles, mumble some sorry-ass apology and expect everything's going to be fine? Because it's not!" she was openly seething by then.

"I didn't say that. I'm not expecting that. I'm not expecting anything, really. I don't have any right to," Blaine said feeling more tired than he could remember ever being (and he'd only been here for less then ten minutes).

"Then what?" Puck asked. Blaine turned to look at him and realized that the mohawk was gone. He didn't really look that different from the bad ass teenager he used to be but the missing mohawk, perhaps more than anything else, made Blaine take conscience of the passing of time.

"I just..." he sighed. There were so many things to say but he couldn't find the right way to say them. "When I talked with Rachel and Finn the other day and they told me all about you guys, I... I remembered," he said looking at all of them around the long table, trying to make them understand. "I tried for so long not to remember," he said almost to himself with a smile devoid of all laughter. "Look I know I didn't handle... things in the smartest of ways. I know it was juvenile and selfish and desperately weak but at the time, it was literally all I could do. I know I hurt your feelings and for that I am deeply sorry but you have to know that I really cared about you guys. I still do," he finished almost pleading now.

"Why now?" Artie asked. His voice had gone graver over the years and he didn't dress as colorfully as he used to but it was still Artie, asking the right questions.

"I don't know. To be honest when Rachel invited me, I said I wouldn't come. But the idea of seeing all of you together again, wouldn't leave me alone. I had to come. I had to see if you remembered me a little too," he finished and looked back at Mercedes. Her eyebrows had settled and her arms were uncrossed; Richard was holding her hand. She didn't look ready for hugs and kisses but she didn't look ready to punch him either. And for now that was enough.

Looking at her now, this wonderful woman who had achieved every goal she had set for herself and more, he felt his chest squeeze almost painfully. He regretted not being there for their journeys. He wished he could have been part of it all; the failures, the successes, the smiles and the tears. He had missed all the good parts and he just felt like he needed to be there for and with them again. And maybe, just maybe, they could be there for him too. With a bit of luck, he wouldn't have to be so alone anymore.

He smiled sadly. "I just missed my friends."

He knew he was on the right path when he saw Rachel and Mercedes exchange a nod.

"You were always good with words," Quinn drawled, her pretty green eyes warmer than a few minutes ago.

"Dapper as ever," Mike added with a nod and a slight smirk. Blaine's smile grew lighter.

"I suggest we sleep on it," Lauren said.

"Meaning?" Blaine asked apprehensively.

"Meaning you're gonna have a bit of cake, then you're gonna go home so we can do some bashing," Santana said. Her words were as bitchy as ever but she was smiling at him. Blaine wanted to grin.

"Got a problem with that?" Mercedes asked.

"None whatsoever," he chuckled softly, relieved beyond words. It wasn't over but it was a something; it was a start.

"Mhm!" Santana acquiesced.

Everybody seemed to relax after that and because he really felt happier now, Blaine sighed in relief once again.

"How 'bout some cake?" Zoe proposed.

"Yes, please," Finn smiled.

"I'll go get the kids," Rachel said.

"I'll come with you," Blaine offered and she nodded with a smile. They left the room quietly but they were both aware of the furious whispering that started right after them.

"It was very sweet, what you said," Rachel said, her smile growing tender. She nudged his shoulder playfully and he remembered the many times in the past they had shared a quiet moment like this and how the guys in the glee club used to make fun of him because Blaine and Rachel were of similar height. He couldn't contain his smile and he didn't want to anyway. He felt lighter somehow. No matter what happened next, he was glad he'd come and said his piece.

"I meant every word."

"I know you did and although it doesn't really seem like it right now, we missed you as well."

There was nothing to add after that so they walked in silence toward whatever room the kids were in. Now that he thought about it, it probably was several rooms; there were seventeen of them after all. Blaine looked around himself and noted the elegant, classy and warm way Tina had decorated the loft. It must have taken a lot of time to turn this gigantic place into a home.

There were several paintings and pictures on the walls. Wedding portraits, picture of the Chang children from different ages and in different locations. There were also a few group pictures with the New Direction gang. Some old, some recent, some where the group wasn't yet what it was today; complete. Blaine stopped in front of a picture of Kurt, Burt, Carole, Mike, Tina and a pretty woman with jet black hair and stunning blue eyes. Finn had his arms wrapped around her from behind and she was smiling up at him. Blaine looked more closely but couldn't place her.

"That's Hannah Michaelson," Rachel said stopping next to him.

"What's the occasion?"

"Kurt's first Tony award. You can't see it in the picture because Finn had hidden it," Rachel said with a shake of head. Blaine swallowed painfully but other than that, he gave no other outward sign of his thoughts. Kurt had won Tony awards. He knew that but he never thought he'd ever see evidence of it.

"Who's Hannah?" he asked just to clear his head.

"Finn's ex. They were engaged actually," Rachel surprised him with her light tone. Blaine looked to look at her with a question mark almost appearing on his forehead. "Yes, Finn was engaged to another woman before me. It was a long time and I happened to have a fiancé of my own at the time." She resumed walking so he had no choice but to follow her.

"You did?" he asked his voice higher than usual.

"Mhm. Eli James. Very charming and a talented musician. He made me feel like I was the best thing since the invention of sliced bread," she told him her eyes smiling. "I'll spare you the epic dramatic tale of how this unfolded but I'll tell you this: if it weren't for Kurt, I wouldn't have married Finn. He brought us back together," she said her eyes shinning with love. Blaine wished they had the time for the epic dramatic tale but they had finally arrived at the end of possibly the longest hallway in Manhattan. They turned the corner and Blaine heard a piano and soft, small voices singing along. He turned his head toward Rachel and they exchanged a smile.

When they entered the room, he only spared a quick look at his surroundings. He barely noticed the shelves stacked with hundreds of toys, board games, the huge TV screen, the video games, the books, the blue rays or even the huge trampoline. Almost as soon as he entered what was probably heaven on earth, his eyes flew to the group gathered around the keyboard. Kurt was sitting in front of it with little Charlotte snuggled at his side, while the older kids were gathered around him. Harmoniously, they sang Amazing Grace as if they were born to do it. The smaller kids were seated on the trampoline and were watching them, enthralled.

Blaine caught his breath, his feet glued to the floor, he was unable to do anything but watch and smile. The children were not only at ease with each other but also with Kurt. The kind of ease that only came from the comfort of really knowing and loving someone. It almost brought tears to Blaine's eyes.

"You do this often?" he whispered in a croak to Rachel while he leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Every now and then," she whispered back with a soft smile. "This is their favorite song, and they're always ready to perform when Kurt's around," she explained further. He nodded thoughtfully, his gaze drinking them in.

Aware of another older familiar voice joining them, he turned to see Rachel approaching them. She put her hands on Paul and Penny's shoulders (Artie's son and Sam's daughter, if he wasn't mistaken). The kids smiled at her and Blaine saw pride shine brilliantly in her chocolate eyes. His heart seemed to expand and squeeze at the same time. They were amazing.

The song came to an end and the children on the trampoline jumped to their feet, erupting in exuberant applause. It had to be the cutest thing he'd ever seen, since a few of them were barely able to walk yet. Blaine joined in, grinning from ear to ear. His gaze went to Kurt and he found himself looking at beautiful sky blue eyes. He inhaled sharply but wasn't able to look away. That was something he had never been able to forget, just how very much he'd loved Kurt's expressive eyes. Before he realized it was happening, they were smiling at each other. The moment was interrupted by Rachel's loud voice.

"I think I heard Aunt Tina mention dessert..." she teased and they were all suddenly running toward the door. "No running!" Rachel shouted but she was smiling still and went unheard anyway. Several of the kids, amongst them Melisande and Will, ran to Kurt to kiss him before running for the door. On her way out Melisande grabbed Blaine's hand and he had no choice but follow. It seemed it was all he'd been doing lately; following the Hudson-Berry girls.

* * *

><p>Kurt wasn't one to indulge in sugary treats (that is if you don't take into account a certain ex-Warbler). However, when it came to Zoe's cakes, he was a total goner. Tonight, there were several choices, amongst them her famous carrot cake. It was so creamy and soft and sweet, it had to be a sin. Kurt got himself a rather gigantic piece, exchanged a few words with Mercedes to reassure her that, yes he was perfectly fine, took his scandalously full plate and escaped to the balcony. Tina and Mike lived on the fifteenth and last floor of the building and the view from her large balcony was breathtaking.<p>

Kurt gazed at the city lights and took a deep breath. After all this time, he still had to pinch himself from time to time. He guessed he'd never fully get over how lucky he was. He took a piece of cake and told himself he'd send a gift to Zoe to thank her for her existence. A sapphire seemed adequate.

He turned around and caught sight of Melisande seating on Blaine's lap and whispering something in his ear. He laughed loudly at whatever she told him and Kurt's little niece smiled beautifully. It made him smile, he couldn't help it. Melisande was generally as socially comfortable as a six year-old could be but she always seemed so serious. Tonight, however, he'd seen her smile, laugh and even joke and Kurt knew it was due to 'Prince Caramel-eyes'. He didn't know how to feel about the man or the fact that he'd reappeared so unexpectedly in his life and seemed to want to stay but Kurt couldn't deny that he liked Blaine's relationship with Melisande.

Kurt ate for a while reflecting on the event of the evening, trying to think clearly. He hated to admit it but there was a part of himself -it was a bit scary how big that part was- which actually rejoiced in seeing Blaine.

Santana, Mercedes and Britt had taken Kurt aside to give him a gist of what had been said when he had left the room with Alex and the kids. Guilt gnawed at his insides. He hadn't asked of Blaine to completely cut himself off but Kurt knew that he was a lot responsible for what happened after their break up. When the guilt abated a bit, he took notice of the quiet but growing gladness that was filling him.

Blaine had missed them. Kurt wondered if he realized how much they had missed him.

It was weird that after the last few days and the emotional roller-coaster they had been, he felt so calm now. That didn't mean he wouldn't tear Rachel a new one as soon as he could but he wasn't as angry or as unsettled as he thought he would be.

That was a good thing because the French doors opened behind him and he knew without turning around who it was.

Blaine came to the railing and leaned his forearms on it. He stood a few feet away from Kurt, taking in the view.

"Stunning, isn't it?" Kurt said softly.

"Yeah," Blaine breathed.

Four words. Fifteen years and their first conversation was four words long. Kurt wanted to roll his eyes, instead he ate a small piece of cake.

"You look good," it was blunt and Blaine said it so softly that Kurt almost didn't hear him but he did and he blushed furiously. He was used to all sorts of compliment; in his profession they were often as cheap and false as the bashing could be harsh. Hearing Blaine's words uttered so softly made his heart beat at a dangerous pace.

"Thank you." What else could he say? Then he thought of something. "You too."

Blaine's lips turned up at the corner and Kurt wasn't ashamed to admit that his breath stuttered. Damn it but Blaine did look good. He was wearing a simple but expansive black sweater over a stark white shirt and snug dark jeans. He looked older but it was mostly due to the scruff on his jaw. His hair was a lot curlier than in his memories.

After leaving Dalton for WMHS in their senior year, it took him a while to lose the dapper and oh so very proper look he was known for. He'd seemed to relax as the weeks went by and he'd allowed himself more freedom with his clothes but his hair had stayed off limits. No matter how much Kurt had begged, Blaine had kept gelling his beautiful hair as if his life depended on it. Today however, the curls were let loose and were free to be as cute as they wished.

_Oh boy!_

"Thank you," came the reply. Kurt tried to think of something to say but he seemed out of words. What do you say to your first (and let's be honest here, only) love after fifteen years of silence?

_Sorry for the broken heart. How 'bout 'em runways? I missed you so much. Do you? Can you send me a picture of you in those green scrubs because I didn't get enough of an eyeful the other day?_

Somehow, he didn't think any of those were appropriate conversation starters.

In the end, he went with the classic, "How are you?"

"That's a loaded question if I ever heard one," Blaine said. Kurt heard the humor in his voice before his old friend even turned his head to smirk at him. Kurt chuckled. It was that or tell him that his voice was still the best sound on this earth. "I'm well; I work a lot but I love what I do so it's alright and I live in New York which is an adventure in itself."

Kurt smiled in understanding.

"Do you still perform?" He didn't know why he asked that. Blaine was a surgeon now, he couldn't possibly have the time to sing but it was important to Kurt. Blaine was one of the most talented people he knew.

"I do." Blaine smiled such a beautiful smile that Kurt's heart jumped in his chest. "It's not much but there this piano bar, not far from here actually, called The Blue Room. I play there when I have the time. It's pretty laid back but it's a good energy."

"You love it," Kurt concluded.

"I do. Of course it doesn't compare to winning Tony awards," Blaine teased and this time Kurt did roll his eyes.

"It's nothing," he mumbled feeling his whole face heating up.

"Au contraire, it's everything."

"No it's not," Kurt insisted. He turned around to look inside and pointed at his friends, his family. "These people _are_ everything."

Blaine seemed to understand because he nodded. There was something sad about it, though.

"Melisande seems to like you very much," Kurt said trying to take away the sad look and it worked because Blaine smiled brilliantly.

"She's special."

"That she is," Kurt agreed and he knew he was smiling like a fool. "Will is more of handful but he's just as lovely."

"How are your parents?"

"Dad and Carole are great. They're coming tomorrow for Will's birthday. How are yours?" Blaine's smile faded and he had to clear his throat before answering.

"Mom's fine. She lives here now, too," his voice was quiet but pained.

"Alone?" Blaine nodded. "What happened?" Kurt asked with dread.

"Dad passed away a few years ago," he replied his voice heavy with sorrow.

"I'm so sorry," Kurt said and he really was. He remembered Blaine's father. He had been a hard man that shared a difficult relationship with his son but he'd been a good man and Kurt knew that despite their differences the two men had loved and respected each other deeply. Kurt extended his hand wanting -needing- to offer some comfort but he retreated it, not sure of... anything.

Blaine shook his head. "It was a long time ago."

"For some things, time doesn't come into account," Kurt said. Blaine looked up surprised. Something passed between them; an awareness. Without acknowledging it aloud, they understood that things wouldn't always be awkward and difficult between them. They both understood that Kurt had been talking about more than just grief over Blaine's father.

"I know," Blaine murmured and that was that. They remained in the balcony, chatting about nothing and everything and Kurt thought that he might not kill Rachel, after all.

* * *

><p>"They look sad," Brittany said with a compassionate pout. "Poor dolphins."<p>

"I wish I could hear what they're saying," Rachel shared, anxious.

"He better not mess this up," Mercedes threatened, her voice like steel.

"I don't understand why you keep blaming Blaine for what happened. We don't actually know what happened, why they broke up. For all we know, Kurt might have done the breaking," Tina pointed out, unable to tear her eyes away from the men outside.

"Women! Get out of there! Let them be," Puck all but shouted from the kitchen but he was completely ignored.

"I can't imagine it being Kurt's idea," Mercedes insisted.

"Again, you can't know for sure," Quinn decided to join the conversation. The women were gathered in the spacious living room trying to look discreet while blatantly spying on Blaine and Kurt. They had given the gist of the situation to Alexandra and Zoe and they were both as desirous to see what will happen as the New Direction girls.

Mercedes harrumphed but had to concede the point. She wasn't above pointing and fuming, though so she indulged herself.

"Aww! Look!" Brittany urged them. "They're being cute again." They all focused on the balcony where Blaine and Kurt were in fact smiling at each other rather adorably. Their collective jaws fell on the floor when Kurt offered his plate full of delicious cake and Blaine took a piece with his fingers before bringing it to his lips. Kurt swallowed, visibly attentive. The women exchanged looks, clearly fascinated and enjoying themselves.

"Zoe, dear, another miracle from your saintly hands," Rachel laughed.

"You do know that if Kurt sees you, he's gonna get mad, right? And when he's mad he gets mean," Finn said poking his head through the double doors.

"Get lost, Hudson," Santana said without sparing him a glance. Finn rolled his eyes but he knew a lost cause when he saw it so he went back to the men who were gathered in the kitchen, cleaning up. The kids were under the surveillance of Eric and Sam.

The woman kept on watching in silence, noting every nuance without being able to hear anything. It didn't matter much because, with Blaine and Kurt, body language was always more important than words. Their conversation looked a bit awkward sometimes but as it carried on, it gained ease.

Santana surprised them with what she said next, "I'm glad he's back." There was a pause then where they all gaped at her. Santana just shrugged.

"We don't know if he's really back for good," Lauren felt the need to remind her.

"I have a good feeling about this," Rachel said.

There was no more talking after that mysterious confession but they all hoped for the same thing: the best.

A/N: Hope you liked it. Now leave me some suga'!


	4. Of families and complications

Disclaimer: nope. Glee and everything related to it isn't mine.

A/N: I'm baaaaack! So sorry it took me so long! But this is a longer chapter to make up for my absence and I promise I won't take so long anymore.

_**Part IV: Of families and complications. **_

As he pushed open his apartment door, Blaine heard his phone beep, signaling a text. He decided to ignore that for the moment and dropped his keys in their usual spot into the bowl on top of the small stand near the front door. He dragged his exhausted body into the shower and let the warm water clean away the day. It had been one of those days. He had worked an extra shift and had two surgeries on a couple of children who were too young to go through anything so hard. It felt like neither operation would ever end.

He loved his job. Becoming a pediatric surgeon hadn't always been what he'd wanted to do but once he'd set himself on that path, he felt deeply content of how things had turned out for him professionally. Sure, he'd loved music and performing but deep down, he'd always known it wasn't something he wanted to do every day for the rest of his life. He'd known he'd either get successful and lose both his quiet private life and become jaded about the industry, or he could fail to make something of himself and live a life of regrets and cynicism. Either way, Blaine couldn't imagine himself losing the enchanting feeling of creating music other than for the pure joy of doing so. It was too great a risk; he couldn't lose something he loved so much. Not again.

The other option everyone had seemed to think he'd follow was to become a lawyer in the family firm. That would have probably made things easier between his father and him but that would have been the only good thing about a career in law. During his senior in high school, his mother had kept repeating how dashing he'd look as a lawyer. According to Marie-Anne Anderson, he had that "lawyer charisma". Blaine never quite knew what the hell "lawyer charisma" consisted of but he never missed the wistful look in her eyes. Blaine wished he could say he'd hesitated a lot before turning his back on that career but that would be a lie. He'd always wanted to help people and he'd known that working for the family firm (which specialized in business law) would be a nightmare.

So, he'd turned to medicine and had found himself falling in love with it. It was hard work and his college years seemed to be a blur a blur of studies and more studying interrupted by a little studying but it had been what he needed at the time.

He loved his job, he really did. There was something wondrous about helping a child and by extension their family, to get better. However, it could take its toll some days. Today had definitely been a hard one.

After the long shower, Blaine made himself a quick dinner of _pasta a la puttanesca_ and gathered the saved up newspapers to read while he ate. He didn't have the time to sit and go through the papers every day so he just collected them until he had a few moments to spare and caught up with the weekly news. He went through the international sections first, then sports and always left the best for last: _Page Six_ of the _New York Post_.

He loved the silly gossip. On Monday, Katy Perry, Russell Brand and their tribe of children were spotted going to the movies. Blaine felt the urge to smile as he remembered the time Kurt and him had gone to one of Katy's concerts and waited hours afterwards just for a glimpse of the pop princess. Kurt had grumbled a lot, threatened to never go with anywhere ("_EVER!"_) and mocked him until they had both been laughing. When Katy appeared, she had spotted them in crowd, cuddling to get warm (and just because cuddling Kurt had been one of his favorite things in the world) and stopped to take a picture with them. It was rushed and the picture was a bit blurry on the edges but it was one of Blaine's favorite memories of their time together because while Katy and Blaine were looking and grinning straight at the camera, Kurt's eyes were on Blaine. He had a soft, loving smile playing on his lips. Blaine had looked at that picture so often that even after fifteen years without seeing it, he could still remember every little details; the glitter on Katy's skin, the red of their noses, the light shining in Kurt's beautiful eyes. Blaine had kept the picture. Even as he got rid of everything else, he couldn't let go of that picture. It was tucked away in his first edition copy of _To Kill a Mockingbird_; the one Kurt had gotten him for his 18th birthday.

Blaine shook the memory away and went back to reading. Ever since the dinner last Saturday, he was being assaulted by snapshots, words and ghost feelings. It was as if the dam had cracked and the memories were staring to leak. Everything he had worked so hard to forget was now reemerging. Unfortunately, with the memories came the emotions. So many of them, conflicting against each other, making him a bit crazy and a lot worried. The longing, the pain, the bitterness; it was dizzying. And even though he wished he could protect himself and his mended heart, he couldn't deny that every memory was colored brightly with a stronger emotion: love. Time had done its job and Blaine could, mostly anyway, think about his relationship with Kurt without cringing in pain.

He thought about the time he spent with his ex-boyfriend on the balcony a few nights ago. He couldn't really explain why he joined Kurt there. He saw him out there, eating his ridiculously large piece of cake alone and it tore at Blaine's heart because if he knew one thing it was how much being alone sucked. Besides, if he really wanted to be part of the group again, he had to try and be civil to Kurt. He'd realized quickly it wouldn't be an issue. When you had been as close to someone as Blaine had been to Kurt, there were some things you couldn't forget or change. So, although, it had been a bit awkward and stilted at first, they had grown comfortable with each other's presence. It had been like playing a song on the guitar that you had not heard or played in a long time. You might get a couple of notes wrong but the rhythm and long habits soon took over.

In the end, instead of overthinking everything and driving himself crazy with questions, Blaine had just rolled with it. He even enjoyed it. There were very few people who had understood Blaine like Kurt had and that somehow made it easier.

Even fifteen years and a broken later.

Where did that leave them now, he had no clue but he knew there was no turning back now. He didn't want to go back anyway.

Speaking of the devil, on Tuesday's edition, there was a picture of Kurt, Mercedes and Rachel having lunch in one of those new trendy restaurants that opened every two seconds and which New York was famous for. Blaine smiled. They looked to be having fun. Throughout the years, this was the only way he'd had to see any of them: the papers. Blaine had always been amazed and secretly proud of how wonderfully they had managed their careers. They had done what he'd thought he'd never be able to do; they'd made names for themselves, big names, and had kept their lives as private as possible. Case in point, Blaine had never known Rachel had been engaged to another man than Finn and before meeting him on Saturday, he couldn't remember ever seeing a picture of Rick Cooper; Mercedes' husband.

They were popular but the public and the press seemed to have grown a kind of respect for them. It also helped that they'd all stirred away from scandals. Perhaps it was also due to the fact that Mercedes and Rachel had married early and had kids.

His thoughts were interrupted by the phone ringing again. He looked at the caller I.D and stifled a sigh. Squaring his shoulders, he pressed the answer button.

"Hello, mother."

"Darling, you can't ignore me forever," the cultured and soft accent of his mother's voice made his jaw clench.

"I'm not ignoring you, I happen to have a job," he replied as cordially as he could.

Apparently, it didn't work. "No need to use that tone. I was just calling to see if you were bringing a date for the gala," Marie-Anne's voice was still pleasant but he knew that wouldn't last.

"I'd rather not come at all," he said after a lengthy pause. What he really wanted to say was she could stick her gala and false pretenses where the sun didn't shine but that wouldn't help with his plans of ending this phone call as soon as possible.

"Darling, you are coming," her voice turned to steal, "we already talked about this. In length. This gala is for you."

He barely managed to contain his scoff. "I don't need a gala!"

"It's to support your cause, your people!" his mother snapped and he almost threw the cell phone out of the window.

"My people?" he nearly snarled. No one had the ability to make him see red like his mother did.

"You know what I mean," she replied dismissively. By that point in the conversation, Blaine wished he could just pack up and leave New York and not give his mother any way of contacting him ever again. "The state of Florida is voting their same-sex marriage law in congress next month and New-Yorkers wish to show their support."

Blaine didn't know what was more absurd: his mother's idea that anything and everything could be helped by throwing prissy parties or the fact that she thought she needed to update him on what was happening in the gay community.

"So, you need to come and you need to bring a date," she said it as if her word was law. The sad part was, for some people, it was.

Blaine sighed and decided to avoid another argument; that only lead to a headache.

"Fine, mom, I'll be there."

"Wonderful. Wear your Prada suit! Bye, darling!"

And with a click, she was gone.

Blaine let his head fall on the table and prayed for a quick death. Surely, it would be better than attending that stupid gala.

* * *

><p>"I think she's the best chance we've got," Mike Chang said after pausing the video. Angie Mallory was an excellent dancer; she had a candor and freshness about her that lifted the sprit. Just like Brittany. Kurt also saw a passion, a drive and dedication that he recognized in himself as well. He really liked Angie and he agreed with Mike; she was their best chance. If it had been up to him only, he'd given her the part right after her audition but Rachel had insisted on a little time to think. Kurt reflected on that and he realized that was why they worked well together. They were similar in many things and when they had different opinions, instead of creating conflict, it brought a measure of balance and peace to their union.<p>

"I sent a copy to Brittany and she loves her," Mike said.

"She says she was afraid people would get confused," Kurt said with obvious affection for lovely friend.

"She's brilliant," Rachel stated calmly.

"Then what's the matter?" Kurt asked with a sigh. Just because they worked well together, didn't mean he couldn't be snide from time to time for old time's sake.

"Nothing, I just wanted to make sure."

"And?" Mike asked.

"And we found our Brittany!" she exclaimed with a grin.

Kurt smiled, his heartbeat suddenly going wild. "Bridget," he corrected.

"Bridget," Rachel amended with a solemn nod but Kurt could see in her eyes the emotions that were currently coursing through him.

There was a pause in the small room at the back of the dance studio where they usually held their meetings. It was a pause filled with relief, excitement and anxiousness.

They'd done it.

The casting process was finally done. It seemed like a huge step had just been taken and these few seconds of silence were the only moment left of normalcy. As soon as they'd open their mouths, the spell would be broken; they'd have to leap forward, over the edge. It felt wonderful and scary and huge.

"It's complete," Rachel breathed. She was beaming.

She suddenly squealed and launched herself on Kurt. He returned the embrace with a laugh. He held her tight and he knew she was holding back tears, just like he was.

"Wanna know the really funny part? Angie is good friend of Patricia," Mike said with a grin.

"The girl who plays Santana?"

"Sasha," Kurt corrected Rachel again.

"The very same," Mike confirmed with a chuckle.

"It seems that things are finally going our way," Rachel said giving Mike a hug as well.

"Hold on to that feeling when rehearsal starts," Kurt drawled causing the other two to laugh.

They remained in their improvised office a while longer to make the final call to Angie and start scheduling the rehearsals.

"If you'll excuse me, I have a family and a trampoline to get back to," Mike said with a smirk. After quick good byes, Mike left. Rachel and Kurt found themselves alone for the first time that day. Kurt almost smirked when he saw Rachel shift in her chair and suddenly find great interest in packing up her stuff.

He wasn't angry anymore, not that he really had been anyway. It was, however, very entertaining to mess with Rachel's peace of mind. On Sunday, at Will's birthday party, she'd played hide and seek with him and Kurt had lost. On Monday, he had asked Mercedes to invite Rachel to lunch without telling her he was coming and then had a blast watching her squirm on her chair while never really looking at him. Today, she had come to work but she had asked Mike to join them to view the audition's recordings. He had to admit, it was well played.

Of course, he could put her out of her misery and just admit that he wasn't mad at her for inviting Blaine to dinner Saturday evening but, really, where was the fun in that? They both had slipped and forgotten a few minutes ago when they had hugged but that was just Broadway fever. When you finished putting together the cast of your first Broadway musical, you had to hug someone. Especially if that someone was: a) one of your best friends, b) your step-sister-in-law, c) the co-director and co-creator of said musical and d) all of the above.

Besides all that, Kurt absolutely knew that Rachel's intentions had been good and it wasn't as if disaster had struck. No one had been insulted, no tears were shed and Kurt hadn't assaulted Blaine like he had dreamed for the last three nights in a row. The evening had been surprisingly pleasant considering the circumstances.

So, no, he wasn't mad at Rachel, he was simply enjoying the unnecessary guilt trip she had been taking for the last four days. He looked at her and almost felt bad. The huge grin of euphoria had finally slipped completely off her face and she was biting her lower lip again.

"So…," she started her eyes shifting, "did Burt and Carol have a safe trip?"

"Didn't you ask Finn?" She blushed. "Why are you asking questions you already know the answers to?"

She narrowed her eyes. "It's called making conversation, you jerk! Look, I know, I overstep my boundaries, or at least I know you think I did," at that Kurt raised an eyebrow, "but you don't have to be so mean," she seemed close to tears and Kurt felt like the jerk she accused him of being. With her big brown expressive eyes staring at him in both regret and condemnation, he felt like he'd kicked a puppy.

He'd be damned if he apologized, though. "How's Melisande?" he asked instead, as a peace offering. Rachel smiled tentatively, relief etched on her face.

"She's great. I thought for sure she'd get sick after the party but I forgot she was half-Finn. He could eat for days and still be fine," she was rambling but he didn't mind. Kurt loved hearing about his niece and nephew.

They talked for a few more minutes about everything and nothing before it was time to go home. Rachel invited him for dinner but he declined. He felt tired and lately having dinner with the Hudson-Berrys always left him a little sad. He was starting to feel restless and he didn't know what to do about it. He loved them with all his heat and more but seeing their little tribe always reminded of how far he was from having his own. He didn't feel like he deserved one anyway.

He could never really let go of the feeling that he screwed up so very badly.

* * *

><p>The next Saturday, Blaine enjoyed his first day off of the month.<p>

He stayed in bed far too late, enjoyed a very long shower and indulged in a high-caloric breakfast. He was hesitating between going for a walk in the park and staying home to start on the stalked up unread novels in his room when there was a knock at the door. He went to open it and barely started smiling when he was engulfed in hugs (plural). His sister, Beatrice, was smothering him in kisses while her daughter, Sonia, looped her tiny arms around his thighs. They stayed like that for a few seconds, kissing, laughing and giggling.

"One would think it's been years not merely a week since we last saw each other," he teased, his head resting on top of his sister's curly, wild mane.

Beatrice, his elder by three years, managed the incredible feat of being smaller than him. It earned her the, now famous, nickname of 'Pinky'. That and the fact that when she was still in junior high she was the first in her school to dye her hair pink. The uproar of that fashion statement had marked the minds for the next two decades. She was a beautiful woman with deep blue eyes and dark curly hair that she had stopped trying to control when she was fifteen. By then, they were back to their natural color but that didn't stop hordes of cronies and younger girls to continue worshipping the ground she walked on.

Sonia, who looked exactly like her father was a blonde, green-eyed little munchkin of five. She was Blaine's favorite person. She had a wit that few adults possessed and a tender heart. He couldn't love her anymore if she had been his own.

He ushered them inside and Sonia ran straight for the kitchen.

"No chocolate, love!" Beatrice called and Blaine saw his niece roll her eyes.

"I wasn't going to," she called from the kitchen.

Her mother shook her head, before pulling her brother down on the sofa.

"There is no more doubt that you are the mother of this child," Blaine teased and Beatrice smacked his upper arm. It was a well-known fact in the Anderson family that Beatrice loved chocolate to an almost alarming degree.

"There was never any doubt."

"If you say so. She's awfully blonde for an Anderson, though," he said with gravity.

"She's half Carlisle," she reminded him. James Carlisle was Beatrice's husband and his coloring was so far, Blaine wondered if the man ever saw the sun. "Well only on the outside. On the inside she's 100% Anderson!" Beatrice amended with a proud grin.

"Poor kid," Blaine said with a smirk that earned him another smack.

Brother and sister caught up on the event of their week apart while Sonia drank a glass of apple juice and watched cartoons. Beatrice had nearly fallen off the couch when Blaine told her about Kurt. He remembered that his sister and ex-boyfriend had gotten along like twins separated at birth. Then again, once you got to know Kurt, it was hard not to adore him. They loved the same music, they had the same passion for fashion and they had one thing they both loved more than life itself; Blaine. It wasn't the case anymore, not for Kurt anyway but when they were in high school and Bea was home from Columbia, the three of them had spent numerous weekends closeted in Blaine's room recreating the world.

Blaine also recalled how Bea had mourned the end of their relationship. She was a very passionate woman and had taken the break-up as nothing short of a betrayal from Kurt.

"You Okay?" she asked taking his hand in hers and squeezing softly. He turned his hand so they her palm to palm and returned the pressure. Her nails were painted a bright pink. Blaine smiled down at her hand.

"I'm fine," he said and realized that he meant it.

Bea opened her mouth and closed it again. It was clear she wanted to ask something but didn't know how.

"Ask away," he offered with an indulgent smile.

"Was he withering in shame and longing?" she asked her eyes twinkling.

Blaine laughed but shook his head. "It's been an eternity. If I am over it, so is he." Bea gave him a skeptic look and Blaine averted his eyes. He was thankful she didn't comment and let it go.

"I can't believe your ex-boyfriend is a Broadway star," she teased with a wriggle of her eyebrows.

"Cliché, isn't it?"

"Well… not that much. It's hardly predictable, is it?"

Blaine laughed and realized it was the first time since the breakup that he had talked about Kurt with Bea.

"God, it has been an eternity!" his sister exclaimed after having played a party of the 'do-you-remember-when' game.

"Fifteen years! You even reproduced in the main time."

"Jesus Christ on a bike! We are so old!"

"Talk for yourself, Pinky."

She glared at the use of the never forgotten nickname and he laughed.

"Is he as gorgeous as he used to be?" she asked grudgingly.

Blaine sighed thinking about how absolutely breath-taking Kurt had looked last Saturday with the city lights twinkling in the background.

"Yes," he answered simply not wanting to say more on such a dangerous subject.

Bea grinned. "I know he was an absolute coward but damn if he wasn't the sexiest of your boyfriends!"

"Beatrice!" Blaine warned.

"No but seriously, if he hadn't broken your heart and if he wasn't gay, I'd be glad to have a few moments alone with him," she teased and he Blaine couldn't help but smile back.

"I'm sure James will be delighted to hear that."

"He'd understand."

Blaine certainly could.

They were interrupted by her cell phone. After a quick conversation with her assistant, Beatrice learned that there had been a "disaster" at work and she was needed.

"Do they ever do anything without you?" he asked only half joking. His sister was a senior editor in a famous publishing house and she was usually as busy as he was. However, ever since she got Sonia, it was agreed that her co-workers and bosses would let her breathe during the week end.

Most of the time, they followed that rule.

Beatrice rolled her beautiful eyes. Blaine often wondered where they came from. Bea was the only one in the family with blue eyes.

"Mommy! You promised we'd go to the zoo, today," Sonia complained, using the full force of her pout on her quivering mother.

"I know, sweetums, but this is very important! Daddy will take you to the zoo later today, okay?"

"I could take her," Blaine offered and Sonia's face lit up.

"Yay!" she exclaimed jumping on his lap and smooching his cheek. "You're the best!"

"Hear that, Pinky? The best makes me better than you, right?" he taunted and he leaned back to avoid another smack.

* * *

><p>"Will, you're not supposed to hurt them!" Melisande glared at her brother. Will only giggled and Kurt tried not to laugh. He gave another piece of bread to the kids and they threw them at the ducks in the pond.<p>

"He can't hurt them, pumpkin," Kurt reassured smiling down at her.

"But he's trying to!" she replied still irked by her brother's insensitivity.

"He's a boy," Kurt drawled trying very hard not to laugh. "It's like a second nature for them."

"But, Uncle Kurt, you're a boy, too and you're very nice;" she said with a slight frown and he felt a powerful surge of affection curse through his veins.

"You're the sweetest," he replied before giving her another piece of bread.

"Hey!" Will felt the need to object.

"Feeding the ducks is forbidden," a voice said from behind them and Kurt swirled around. Blaine stood behind him, holding a little girl by the hand. She was around five or six, had hair has bright as the sun's color in the middle of August and beautiful green eyes.

Kurt nearly dropped the loaf of bread in his surprise.

"It's not really forbidden, just frowned upon," he managed to say, his voice almost steady. Fifteen years without seeing each other and now it seemed as if he couldn't go anywhere without bumping into Blaine.

"I suppose the 'Do NOT feed the animals' signs are just decoration," Blaine teased and Kurt felt his lips twitch.

"Those don't concern the ducks," Kurt explained and Blaine grinned suddenly. He had not seen that beautiful expression in so long he almost felt dizzy with longing. Thankfully the kids offered a good distraction.

"Hello, Prince!" Melisande ran up to him and Blaine crouched down so she could give him a proper hug.

"Hello, Princess," he replied. He shifted sideways and mentioned to the blonde girl. "Melisande Hudson-Berry, this is Sonia Carlisle," Blaine introduced the two girls.

Will turned questioning brown eyes to his uncle as the little girl started to chat. "Who are they?" he whispered and Kurt picked him from the ground.

"Blaine, Sonia, this is Melisande's little brother, Will. Will, this is Blaine," he hesitated for a fraction of a second before adding, "An old friend of mine and that is Sonia."

"I am not little," Will said annoyed. He squirmed in his uncle's arms until he was released.

"Sorry," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes. The kids gathered in front of the small fence near the pond. Kurt handed the loaf of bread to Melisande and the two men watched as she distributed pieces to the younger children.

"She's beautiful," Kurt said mentioning toward Sonia with his head.

"Thank you," Blaine smiled proudly.

"Family?" Kurt asked. He didn't like that he was a bit scared of the answer. What if she was Blaine's daughter? What if he was married and he'd simply never mentioned it? What if he was too late to apologize?

"She's Bea's daughter," Blaine replied and Kurt almost staggered at the relief he felt. He knew it was irrational and silly and of course he was fucking too late but he couldn't help it. He hoped none of those emotions were showing.

"How is Bea?"

"She's great. She's a senior editor at Random house and she married a banker a few years back," Blaine told him and Kurt wondered how he could be so clam. Or maybe it was just a faced and Blaine was bursting with feelings and energy on the inside, just like Kurt was.

"How very conventional! I would have never thought Pinky would settle down, let alone with a banker of all things," Kurt laughed somehow distracted by the image Blaine had depicted. He'd missed Bea all these years. He thought about her often.

"Took us all by surprise but I think she was the most surprised of all," Blaine said with a chuckle.

"I always thought she'd create a new political party, stop all wars around the world just with the sheer power of her glare and spend her weekends creating fashion lines," Kurt admitted.

Blaine laughed. "That would have been awesome!"

"Maybe I'll write a musical about it," Kurt smirked.

"No doubt you could!"

There was a lull in the conversation as they looked at the children. Melisande and Sonia were having what seemed like a very serious conversation while Will looked at them as if they were crazy. Kurt chuckled at the typically Finn expression on the little boy's face.

"How's work?" Blaine asked.

"Good…," Kurt hesitated dying to tell him all about the first rehearsal they had yesterday and how excited he was. For a few seconds he was transported back to the past when he and Blaine had known every little piece of him, every dream, and every fear. He wished he could go back to the time when Blaine had been his world and there had been no space and no secrets between.

"The other day at the hospital, Rachel mentioned that you'd had a few problems with the casting process," Blaine prodded and Kurt was startled to see he seemed genuinely interested.

"You really want to know?" he asked unsure and strangely afraid.

"Of course. I wouldn't ask otherwise," Blaine said his voice gentle and Kurt believed him.

The kids had finished the loaf of bread and declared they were tired of ducks .Will wanted to go see the monkeys and the girls nodded. They all started to walk toward the primates section. Sonia and Melisande started to walk in front of the group while Will trailed a bit dejectedly behind. Sonia suddenly stopped, waiting for Will to join them and without asking, she took his hands.

Kurt and Blaine exchanged amused glances at Will's stunned expression.

As they walked around the zoo, Kurt told Blaine about_ Glorious _while Blaine told Kurt about being a surgeon, about Katie and about the children he took care of. For an hour it was as if time had stopped and nothing would be complicated ever again.

And then, everything went back to normal; back to complicated.

"Rachel is dragging me to this gala tonight…," Kurt trailed off as he saw Blaine expression. He looked startled and almost embarrassed. "What? What is it?" he asked as they stopped in front of the penguins.

"The gala at the Met?" Blaine asked.

"Yeeees," Kurt said dragging the word, unsure of the situation.

"My mother is organizing that," the other man mumbled and Kurt's eyes widened.

"You have got to be kidding me!"

Blaine shook his head before rubbing his neck uneasily.

"What were the chances of that?"

"It seems that when my dear mother is concerned, the chances are always against me," Blaine said with a scowl and Kurt didn't really know what to make of that. "I have to bring a date."

"You don't have one?" Kurt asked in surprise.

Once again Blaine only shook his head and he looked so dejected and alone in that moment that Kurt's heart squeezed in the most awful way. He couldn't help but feel guilty as if somehow this whole ordeal was his fault. The powerful emotions were probably the reason why he said:

"Let's go together!" he blurted out and Blaine froze visibly in front of him.

"Er… Come again?"

Kurt felt himself blush from head to toe. He hadn't blushed in so long, if the situation wasn't so mortifying, he'd have smiled.

"Why not? You're going, I'm going. Finn and Rachel are going… We're both dateless…Not that this would be a date!" he said so red by now that he felt like a proper fool. "Of course it won't be a date! It would just be a friend helping another! Not that... That you know, not that you wouldn't find a date… It's you, of course you could. It would be like a favor to me! I don't have anyone to go with and I would hate to be Rachel and Finn's third wheel… Oh my god! I'm shutting up right now and while I go throw myself in the lions' cage you can ignore everything I just said!"

Kurt bit lips hard trying to stop the prickling at the corner of his. He'd never felt more mortified in his entire life. He refused to look at Blaine and concentrated on a spot on the back of Will's head instead. He had totally lost control of his mouth and senses. Why else would he ask Blaine on what would obviously be a date after the way he had treated him fifteen years ago. He had obviously lost his mind and intended to drown in his shower at the first opportunity.

Blaine said something, interrupting Kurt recriminating.

"What?" he asked his voice breathless.

Blaine grinned and his eyes were teasing.

'I said I would love to come with you tonight."

No matter how hard he tried to prevent it, Kurt's heart jumped at the words.

Yes, definitely back to complicated.

A/N: Ouh lala! Development! I hope you liked it. Please tell me what you thought and excuse any grammatical mistakes or typos, this was un-betaed.


	5. Of love and fairytales

Disclaimer: glee is not mine. Klaine is not mine. Their love is not mine. Excuse me while I go sob in a corner.

A/N: I hope you guys haven't forgotten about this story. Sorry it took so long. Good news is next chapter is already written and the one after that is currently under work. I hope you'll enjoy this one.

_**PART V: Of love and fairytales. **_

Kurt didn't remember much of the rest of the afternoon. Somehow he had made arrangement to meet up with Blaine at Rachel and Finn's place, returned Melissande and Will to the care of their parents and went back home without really knowing how. His brain seemed to have completely shut down after Blaine agreed to accompany him to the gala. On their non-date.

He was stuck on that.

A non-date.

A non-date with Blaine Anderson.

Blaine.

His ex-boyfriend. The boy, now man, who had meant so much to him, he had changed Kurt's life. The guy who had defined and shaped all of Kurt's relationships since high school.

The thought alone was too great to fathom. A couple of weeks ago Blaine was only a ghost hanging over every failed date, every love song, and every teenage memory. Now, he was here; back in his life, going on dangerously exciting non-dates and wreaking havoc with his previously perfectly regimented emotions.

'_Oh God,'_ he thought,' _I'm back in high school.'_

The truth of the matter was that he wasn't at all feeling what he knew he ought to feel. He should feel dread, anxiousness, fear and all the plethora of emotions that were usually expected from someone who was in this situation.

Not Kurt.

He knew he shouldn't. He knew it was foolish, wrong and even dangerous but Kurt felt happy. He was so excited by the prospect of spending an entire evening with Blaine, he could barely think straight. He wasn't fooling himself, though. He understood the deal. Blaine was a friend, sort of, and there was nothing that could change the situation. No matter how many times Kurt had hoped for a way to redeem himself.

However, this was Blaine. He had indeed been Kurt's boyfriend for a year and a half but there had been so much more to their relationship than that. Kurt paused at the thought. It wasn't the first time it occurred to him but it still gave him pause. He had been one lucky bastard. Having Blaine as a boyfriend had been the realization of a dream. To this day, he could still say that he had never loved anyone like he had loved Blaine and he knew for a fact that Blaine had felt the same. However it wasn't all. On top of that, Blaine had been his best friend. The best friend anyone could hope for. Kurt had missed his best friend so much; it had been a constant ache in the pit of his stomach. Regret and guilt were only happy to join the party and Kurt suddenly realized he had never really forgotten about him. He had moved on from Blaine as a boyfriend but Best Friend Blaine had been lurking in the back of his mind for over fifteen years.

He didn't know how tonight would turn out but he knew he'd get to spend it with Blaine and that, on its own, was enough to squash any nervousness he might be feeling.

* * *

><p>An hour later, Kurt's nerves decided to fight back. They may have taken the first few rounds silently but now they were back with revenge and Kurt, who was prone to dramatics of all kinds, was on the verge of throwing himself out of the window.<p>

He'd taken a shower; made sure his face was as clear and smooth as a baby's and had bounced his way to his walk-in closet when his nerves had thrown the first punch.

He had absolutely no idea what to wear.

He'd wanted to wear his deep blue Armani with a simple black skinny tie and his Dior evening shoes but looking at the outfit hanging on the door, he felt the urge to cry. He hated it. Absolutely hated it. With a burning passion. He turned to the many, many, many racks of clothes and felt himself prickling all over with overwhelming dread. He stumbled out of the "closet" (the size of that room could make Carrie Bradshaw weep in blissful completion) and went to sit on his bed. He tried to rationalize his thoughts but every time he took a look at the closet doors, he felt an urge to throw up.

Kurt Hummel couldn't dress himself. He who had been named 'Best Dressed Celebrity' by _People_ Magazine three times in a row. This had to be the joke of the year.

He was about to make himself a cup of coffee, hoping to clear his mind, when his phone rang. Rachel's smiling face flashed on the screen as _For Good_, her ringtone, filled the room. It soothed Kurt a little. Amazing that.

"I need you," he said right after picking up.

"Anything."

* * *

><p>The black Hugo Boss tux. Silver tie. His favorite glossy Armani shoes. It had been decided over the phone ("You look like a star in that tux," Rachel had said and he heard the teasing smile in her voice, tugging his lip upward) and Rachel even convinced him to come get ready at the Hudson-Berry residence by pretending that she needed his help getting <em>herself<em> ready. He knew for a fact she didn't need him at all since they had picked out a gown two weeks ago but he appreciated the thought behind the lie so he acquiesced. Without needing to say it, they both knew Kurt would definitely need Rachel to distract him. She had a knack for that, his best friend.

For all her flaws, Kurt found Rachel to be quite fantastic.

He carefully packed all he needed and half an hour later he was riding the private elevator leading to Rachel and Finn's apartment. He was greeted by Finn in the entrance hall. His brother was wearing such a typically awkward Finn Hudson smile that Kurt's steps faltered.

He raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Nothing," was the quick and unconvincing reply.

"Did you invite another of my ex's back into our lives without telling me again?"

Finn's eyes widened almost comically at that last remark and Kurt understood. It hadn't been snappish enough or nearly vehement enough to be callous which meant Kurt was actually joking about the matter.

Huh.

Well, it was certainly better to laugh then to cry. He'd done enough of that to last him a lifetime.

"How is it going?" Finn asked cautiously. It did not escape Kurt that his brother had completely sidestepped his question but he decided to let it go for now. He'd know soon enough. Finn was as good at keeping secrets as Rachel was at sharing the spotlight.

"I'm okay," Kurt reassured him just like he would have his father. It was amazing how it was Finn (non-blood related Finn) who resembled their father more and more every day. The thought made Kurt's heart swell and he smiled a little bit more easily.

As they neared the 'Drawing Room' (which was just a Jane-Austen-loving Rachel's way of calling their lounge) he heard several more voices than he expected. He almost stopped in his tracks again thinking that Rachel had invited Blaine once again without warning him first but he shook away the thought. Even Rachel wouldn't do that. Not to mention that he had seen Blaine just a couple of hours ago. There was no way he'd be ready, yet.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he came to stop in the Drawing Room's doorway and beheld the sight of Mercedes and Santana sitting at the piano bench. Melissande was sitting on the top, facing them and looking as serious as the day she was born. Kurt still shot a look at Finn (it wasn't Blaine but he was not sure he wanted to have Mercedes and Santana on his back, asking concerned questions, making dirty jokes and generally making him even more nervous than he already was) but he seemed engrossed in the white wall to his right. Kurt rolled his eyes and dropped his bags at his brother's feet (let the coward carry them for him) and made his presence known.

Will, who had been sitting on one of the sofas with his mother, came to him in a flash. The little bundle jumped in his open arms and Kurt sighed contently as he rested his head against his nephew's. They had seen each other just a few hours ago and he had still greeted Kurt like it had been days.

Not for the first time, Kurt felt a new kind of longing pierce his heart. He was grateful for Finn's family but he couldn't help but feel alone in the middle of a crowd.

"Are you going to the stupid party, Uncle Kurt?" Will asked as he was finally let down. He had the stubborn expression of a five-year-old who refused to acknowledge he was feeling left out.

"I'm afraid I have to."

Will gaped in open betrayal-colored incredulity.

"I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Will's eyes narrowed in contemplation. He looked so adorable; Kurt had to bite back a grin. "I want a new bike," he proclaimed. Rachel and Finn started to protest (Melissande would have joined them if she wasn't too busy braiding Santana's hair to pay attention to her brother's boldness) but Kurt shut them up with a look.

"Color?" he asked.

"Blue." At Kurt's raised eyebrow, he elaborated. "Navy blue."

Kurt smirked and extended his hand. "Deal."

Will's face broke into a toothy smile; so much like Rachel's Kurt was almost blinded by the power of it, and shook his uncle's hand. The boy ran over to taunt his sister with the news but was thoroughly disappointed when Melissande took the high road. She smiled down at him, murmured her congratulations on his future acquisition and went back to play with auntie Santana's hair.

"Bath time," Rachel announced, her face lit with amusement. Will and Mel were handed to their nanny and the adult were left alone. Finn went to the kitchen to fetch some drinks and as he looked at the women's carefully blank expression, Kurt remembered why he was here and where he was headed.

Before he knew what was happening, he was engulfed in a warm embrace. However, instead of making him feel good, it sent frustration cursing through him. He let her go rather stiffly.

"Mercedes, I'm fine. Seriously," he insisted when he saw her unconvinced look. "It's just one evening. We're not in high-school anymore so let's not make a mountain out of a small hill, okay?"

It was one thing for him to make a big deal out of this night; it was another for his friends to join the crazy train. If he couldn't count on them to keep straight heads, he was doomed.

He absentmindedly pecked Santana and Rachel on their cheeks and went to sit on the recently vacated bench. Santana came to perch herself next to him. It was so typical of her; he turned his head to smirk at her.

Only Santana.

While Rachel would have been too nervous to approach him in a moment like this or Mercedes considerate enough to give him space and time, Santana had taken the bull by the horns and was charging.

He knew she was supposed to be back in Lima by now but he didn't feel like asking for some explanation for her presence.

"No big deal, huh?" she asked as she pressed down a C minor. Her voice was soft and absent-minded but Kurt knew her too well to let his guards down.

He narrowed his eyes. "Indeed."

"One evening?" her perfectly sculpted eyebrows rose in mock bemusement.

"It is not a big deal," Kurt replied with fake insouciance and a shrug that everyone in the room knew had been forced.

"On the contrary, I think it is," Kurt opened his mouth to object but she raised her left hand to cut him off. Ignoring his menacing scowl (something no one in Broadway dared to do anymore), she carried on. "This could be your one chance to make it right, Doll Face. Personally, I can't see the appeal, but you have loved him all your life. Why shouldn't tonight be a big deal?"

Kurt felt his chest contract at her words. "I don't love Blaine."

"Yes, you do," Rachel came forward and leaned against the piano. "I know you, Kurt. You never stopped caring about him."

Kurt had to swallow before speaking again. "Of course, I care about him. He was my first love. We're friends or whatever but it was fifteen years ago._ Fifteen years._ Why are we even discussing this?"

"He was your first and only love, boo," Mercedes joined them at the piano.

Kurt felt helpless, trapped and desperate. Somehow, it was still better than the overwhelming sadness he was sure to feel in a few moments if they didn't drop the subject. It occurred to him that there was a reason he still felt a deep sense of loss when Blaine was mentioned. He would never properly grieve. He wondered if Blaine ever did. Kurt hoped with all his heart that he had. It was too heart-wrenching to think of the alternative.

"Why are you doing this? What is this, exactly?"

"It's a Blaine-vention. We're here to knock some sense into you," Santana said with a fierce scowl.

Kurt clenched his jaw. "How dare you?" his voice was soft but it dropped into the room like a rock on a glass window. "You don't know anything. You... You can't… This isn't any of your damned business!" Tears of humiliation, sadness and anger gathered in the back of his throat but he managed to push them down. Now was absolutely not the time for a tear fest.

He looked at his friends' faces; varying degrees of guilt and concern were looking back at him. He sighed and it held so much meaning and untold truths, he didn't know how to express them all but he guessed he had to at least try. So, he took a leap of faith and decided to be honest with them. He just hoped they wouldn't hate him. That has always been in the bottom of his heart; this irrational fear that if he had told them what happened between him and Blaine that summer (what he had done), they'd have turned their backs on him.

He knew he had to do this however and maybe it'll help him heal a little.

"I have a box hidden in the very back of my closet. It contains…," he had to stop and clear his throat before continuing. "It contains all that I ever held dear. I call it the 'Blaine Box'."

At that admission, the women's faces softened in compassion. Even Santana winced, which, for her, was as good as a heartfelt pat on the shoulder.

"He is… he _was_ everything to me. I loved him so much; I could have filled entire castles with my love. I loved him so much; it would have been enough to last over several lives. The thought of losing that love made me do something I will regret for the rest of my life. I loved him so much and he loved me back and me, miserable fool and coward that I was, I took that love and quite literally threw it away."

Rachel gasped.

"You…," but she was unable to finish as if the thought was inconceivable. Kurt made his head move up and down in abject confirmation. At the gesture, the tears he'd been holding fell on his cold cheeks and he used the back of his fingers to quickly brush them away.

"I broke his heart."

"You broke yours as well," Mercedes whispered as if it was point in his favor but how could it be? He deserved the broken heart. After all he'd worked so hard to gain it.

"That's completely irrelevant. The point is, tonight cannot be a big deal because I have no right to make it a big deal."

"What if you could?" Finn asked suddenly from behind him. And Kurt almost jumped out of his socks. When had he come back? His brother held a tray of drinks in his hands and was looking grieve stricken.

"I can't," was Kurt's shaky reply.

"But what if?" Santana insisted.

Kurt turned away and went upstairs, unable to form a reply.

What if, indeed.

* * *

><p>As it turned out, Mercedes and Santana were actually going to the gala and had chosen, like Kurt, to get ready at the Hudson-Berrys.<p>

"And here I was thinking they were here only for me. Talk about deflating one's ego," Kurt said with a half-smile while he helped Finn with his tie.

"I'm so sorry, man," Finn didn't say for what exactly he was feeling sorry but Kurt appreciated it nonetheless. He felt slightly better. As if confessing the mistakes (mistake really but it was so big and it changed so much, it felt like it should be a plural) of his past left him lighter.

"It's alright. If I had been in their shoes…," he shrugged as he stepped back to allow Finn a better view of the mirror.

"This is as good as it's gonna get," he said with a self-deprecating smile.

"That is damn good," Rachel said as she came into the room. She looked ravishing in a pale pink sleeveless dress. He smiled as he recognized one of his own designs. She gave them a twirl, although it was more for her husband's benefits than his own and Kurt chuckled at Finn's dopey look.

"God, you're pathetic," he said with a shake of his head. Finn ignored him and bent to drop a highly inappropriate kiss on his wife's lips. Kurt was about to shout the cliché, yet efficient, 'Get a room!' when he remembered he was in their bedroom and he was the one "de trop".

He quickly steeped out and went to check on his niece and nephew. He passed by Will's bedroom just to realize that the little boy was already asleep so he moved on to Mel's room.

"Hello, Angel," he smiled as he perched on the side of the bed.

"Tell me the story."

Kurt sighed and was ashamed to admit that he squirmed a little. Melissande pouted. "Please."

"You had to pull out the big guns, didn'cha?" Mel giggled and he loved the sound so much, he felt like a king. He settled more comfortably on the bed while she snuggled on her pillows.

"There once was a prince who lived in a faraway land called Singalot. He was a good prince; dedicated to his people, handsome and he had the voice of an angel. The prince who had been named Porcelain for his fair and flawless skin lived with his loving father, the fair and kind King Barnaby, his step-mother the Queen Carolina and his brother Prince Finston. They were a happy family; a loving family. Oh, they did fight sometimes but it was only because they had big heart and they were filled with passion," Kurt paused as he heard a noise in the hallway but when he looked up he didn't see or hear anything so, with a mental shrug, he went back to Singalot.

"They were all happy, until one day…"

"Until one day, Prince Finston decided to marry Princess Rosebud from the land of Daltonia," Melissande whispered her beautiful eyes huge, alert and warm on her dear face.

Kurt nodded. "Right. Prince Porcelain was very happy that his brother had finally found true love but he couldn't help envy them a little. He felt alone and he longed to feel cherished for who he really was and not for his position as Prince of Singalot. As Princess Rosebud's party arrived to settle at the castle for the nuptials, Prince Porcelain was glad to discover that he quite liked his future sister-in-law, even if she was quite loud and slightly self-centered. The important thing was that she had a heart of gold, an amazing voice and that she loved Prince Finston more than words could say.

"However, Prince Porcelain realized there was another reason he liked Princess Rosebud so much and that reason was her brother, Prince Blainderson. The first time Prince Porcelain saw him, he felt his whole world change forever. He was absolutely beautiful with a mass of perfectly coiffed curly hair and lips the color of cherries and…."

"… and beautiful eyes," Mel smiled hugely and Kurt felt himself smile back.

"The color of warm caramel."

"Prince Caramel-Eyes," at her blissful tone Kurt felt stupid tears sting the back of his eyelids but thankfully he heard Rachel calling from downstairs.

"Good night, love," he gave his niece a sweet kiss and pulled the covers tightly around her.

"Wait! You haven't told me the best part yet," she sighed, which was for Melissande as close to a whine as it would get.

"The one with the dragon?"

"No, I want to hear the ending, please."

"Oh."

He knew which part she meant but tonight after the day he had, uttering those words felt like climbing a mountain without any clothes on.

He did it, though, for Melissande.

"Prince Caramel-Eyes kissed Prince Porcelain softly and they all lived happily ever after," his niece sighed happily as he finished and he bent to give her one last peck.

He barely recognized his own voice as he wished her good night. He left the room, closing it softly behind him and turned toward the staircase.

He stopped short.

Blaine was coming up the stairs, looking… looking more prince-like than real. He was devastatingly handsome in his simple black tux and bow-tie. The sight of him with a bow-tie was like a blow to the stomach. For some reason, he looked a bit pink in the cheeks but Kurt was too busy taking mental pictures to really give it more thought. Their eyes met again and something wild and hungry and breathless flared inside of Kurt.

"Hi," Blaine was the first to break the tension.

"You look…," but words failed Kurt and the sentence died on his dry tongue.

Blaine smiled and it was bit shy and a lot boyish and Kurt felt his bones melt at the sight of that smile. "You too," Blaine replied, his voice deep. It sent another jolt through Kurt's already abused senses. "Rachel sent me up to get you," Blaine explained.

"Let's get me down, then," Kurt's face flamed up as he realized what he said and Blaine looked away. He seemed to be choking; it probably was on Kurt's mortification. When he looked back, Blaine's eyes were dancing with laughter. He opened his mouth but Kurt cut him short.

"Shut up," he mumbled and it was so much like Kurt that Blaine smiled. With a bow and a flourish of his hands, his waved toward the stairs.

The women, all beautiful in their ball gowns, exchanged looks as they saw them coming down together. Before any comment, appropriate or otherwise, could be made, Kurt once again took charge with the highly out of character but efficient: "Let's get this party on the road, shall we?"

And they did.

A/N: Voilà! I hope you liked it. I know there wasn't a lot of Klaine interaction but do not worry, it's coming. I'd also like to add that this was only beta'd by me so please, forgive any mistakes. Anyone interested in being my beta, please let me know. Mucho love!


	6. Of meddling and rediscovery

Disclaimer: glee does not belong to me, although sometimes, we kinda think it does. Don't we, klainers?

A/N: I really liked working on this chapter. I find a bit harder to write from Blaine's point of view but it was strangely liberating. I hope you'll like it. Leave me a few words.

Special and heartfelt thanks to my lovely beta, anddreamylifeaway. Sasha, you made this a thousand times more fun.

_**PART VI: Of meddling and rediscovery.**_

The limo was waiting for them outside the Hudson-Berrys' residence; they hurried inside it. The evening was chilly and the women's attires, though divine, were not weather-proof. After some grumbles, adjustments and threats - "Wrinkle my suit Lopez and I will make you suffer in unspeakable ways," Kurt glared causing Santana to roll her eyes. "Oh, yeah? What will you do, Ladypants? Hiss at me until I melt?" she smirked. The look on Kurt's face caused Finn to grab Santana and forcefully deposit her next to Mercedes before Kurt could reach her. Soon they were on their way towards Manhattan's traffic.

Blaine felt nervous, which was quite expected considering he was headed for one of his mother's events, but he also felt edgy and somewhat impatient. That, he didn't expect to feel. He figured it had a lot to do with the way Kurt's shoulder pressed against his own, the almost brush of their thighs and the way his ex-boyfriend smelled. To this day, Blaine couldn't smell citrus without having his heart ache or heat pool in the bottom of his stomach. Sometimes it was both. It wasn't exactly an ideal moment to remember that fact. He couldn't escape the fact that Kurt looked more handsome than any other man had the right to. He'd always done this to Blaine, pulled him under and made him feel alive and important, just by being near him. He didn't know much about Kurt's life but if there had been hardship (and Blaine was sure there had been), his face had retained that vitality, strength and innocence Blaine had loved so powerfully.

He averted his eyes (which had been stuck on a patch of Kurt's neck), looking out the window and trying to think of anything but lemon and soft skin. Unfortunately, his thoughts turned to what he had overheard just a few minutes ago and his chest tightened with more unwanted emotions.

_Prince Porcelain and Prince Caramel-Eyes. _

It was so sweet; he would smile if it wasn't so heart-breaking as well. He'd gone upstairs to find the bathroom but he'd been drawn to Kurt's soft voice down the hall and he had unrepentantly eavesdropped.

_Prince Porcelain saw him and his whole life changed._

He kept hearing that sentence over and over and every time his stupid heart contracted sweetly. He'd turned back to the staircase when he heard Kurt say good-night for the second time and had pretended he was just coming up the stairs. He was fairly sure Kurt had believed him and he was glad about it. He needed time to digest this. This whole being friends with the person he had loved the most and who had hurt him like no one else had since was trickier than he would have imagined.

He wasn't even sure he wanted to talk about it. Not that Kurt seemed eager to talk about anything right now. He sat stiffly next to Blaine, a tight smile on his lips, looking as comfortable as a Warbler without his blazer.

Blaine sighed, feeling the weight of the broken past and the unclear future keenly on his shoulders.

"So, Frodo, what should we expect tonight?" Santana broke into his thoughts. Grateful, he smiled crookedly at her.

"Well, Lady Godzilla, we are headed for a Marie-Anne Anderson event so you should get yourself ready for anything from pure boredom to utter mortification."

"A healthy dose of condescension, too," Kurt added and his eyes widened in shock. Clearly, he had not meant to say that out loud. Before he could apologize (which Blaine was sure he was about to do), Blaine laughed.

"That too," he said smiling at Kurt whose cheeks had begun to turn pink in a most fetching way. "Thankfully, my sister will be there as well. She always does a great job of serving as a buffer between Mother Dear and the rest of the world." If it was possible, the mention of Bea made Kurt's body tense up even more.

Rachel, however, received the news of Bea's attendance with much more warmth.

"How is Bea?" she asked grinning.

And suddenly Blaine remembered that Rachel and Beatrice had liked each other quite a lot. Both girls had had a hard time getting along with other girls, which, ironically, had brought them closer. Blaine had sudden flashes of sleepovers, movie marathons, shopping trips and concerts were Rachel and Bea were the main characters or guest stars to his and Kurt's memories.

Odd how he'd forgotten that over the years. There were so many things about Rachel he remembered, he could literally write a book about her, but he had forgotten something as personal as a friendship between her and his sister. The shock of the memory made him lose track of the conversation for a bit but he quickly recovered. Those particular memories didn't hurt. In fact, before the break up, there were very few memories that hurt. It was more the loss of those days and all they had all shared together that hurt. The knowledge that it was over and even if they were trying to build something new, it could never be like that again. It was very bittersweet, the thought of those wonderful crazy days, like a pinch to the heart that healed quickly as warmth invaded him.

"Bea is doing great... wonderful, actually. She's married with a kid and quite happy," he supplied after he regained his ability to speak.

"Will and Melisande met Sonia this afternoon. I think Will was quite taken with Sonia," Kurt smiled and Blaine was glad to see he was finally starting to relax. He breathed a little easier himself.

"So you noticed, too, huh?" Blaine asked, one eyebrow raised in amusement.

Kurt snorted. "Of course I noticed, silly! I was thinking a June wedding at the Plaza, a few years down the road."

"How pedestrian. I'm calling a winter wedding back home," Blaine challenged.

"And I'm pedestrian," Kurt said with a dainty snort. "Puh-lease, that's a disaster in the making!"

Blaine faked a frown. "You're the disaster in the making," he retorted hardly able to repress his smile. It felt surprisingly good, being able to banter back and forth with Kurt like this. It still seemed unreal that there was any kind of interaction at all let alone pleasant ones. Although pleasant might be a bit of a shallow term for the bubbly happiness inside him demanding to be expressed. It was quite an achievement on his part that he managed to maintain a straight face. The feeling was only intensified when he felt Kurt's shoulders shake with silent laughter. Blaine's heart squeezed again.

_Prince Porcelain saw him and his whole life changed_.

The thought was sobering but with a still beaming Kurt beside him it was hard to stop smiling. He caught Santana's amused expression and decided to distract her before she did or said something tear-inducing.

"So, She-Devil, how come you're still in New York?"

"Oh, Shorty, you've been trolling the internet for nicknames, haven't you?" she mocked.

He laughed. "I try my best. Now answer the question."

Santana rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over the chest. She suddenly radiated reluctance as if she had a juicy secret that she was dying to share but wasn't sure of the reception it would get. This, of course, made it Blaine's goal in life to make her confess.

"Why don't you shut your gob and mind your own business, Male-Berry," Santana drawled with a heat-less glare. Blaine winked at a smiling Rachel in response to Santana's pique.

"Did you and Britt have a fight?" Finn asked.

She rolled her eyes. Evidently the idea of a fight between the two of them was unconceivable. "No. I'm just taking a holiday."

"Without Brit?" Kurt asked in surprise.

Santana sighed and threw her hands in the air. "Brit is in New York as well, Leeches. Mercedes needed a Plus One for tonight since Richard had to fly back to L.A for work," she explained without really saying anything.

"Ah, the trepidations of being married to a Lit teacher," Mercedes sighed heavily. "It never stops."

Kurt shook his head in mock sympathy. "Poor 'Cedes. All those papers to grade. The constantly changing educational system. Those complaining and bitchy parents...," he put a hand to his heart while he pretended to wipe a tear with the other.

Blaine's lips were twitching despite his best efforts to keep them straight.

"Not to mention all those _younger_ and _eager_ teenage girls slavering to get his attention," Santana added. The smirk on her face would have made the devil squirm.

Mercedes' smile dropped and she turned to hiss at Santana, "Who told you?"

Kurt and Blaine chocked. They looked at each other, the warmth of the moment catching them both off guard.

"What?" Rachel asked in disbelief.

"One student is sending anonymous love letters," Mercedes elaborated, obviously annoyed. Turning another glare toward Santana, she demanded to know how she heard about it.

"Actually, I haven't but it was a reasonable assumption." Santana tilted her head to the side, the better to taunt Mercedes and added, "God knows, even I feel a bit tingly looking at your husband."

Mercedes shook her head, muttering to herself but it was clear it was all an act. Even in high school they lived to tease, taunt and torment each other but if it wasn't what they loved, why would they still be doing it long after their lives had taken each of them on their own path. Blaine once again found himself torn between longing for a past he never had and hope for a future that was still too blurry.

Kurt's voice brought him to the present. "When I first met him, I was tempted to write a few notes myself," he teased Mercedes and Blaine saw her lips tremble with contained laughter. He wished he could feel the same. He did not want to hear that Kurt found other guys attractive. Even if that guy was a good friend's husband and it was all in jest. And that did NOT make him jealous; it made him human. Who wants to hear about their exes lustful thoughts towards other people? _No one_. So... There! He wasn't jealous. And the sour taste in his mouth wasn't jealousy either. Furthermore, the fact that he had to convince himself of the fact didn't make him jealous either.

_No, clearly, it makes you an idiot._

"But, wait! I'm still confused," Finn interrupted. Blaine smiled as he was reminded of the many times in the past when Finn's confusion had served to break the tension. "Why are you and Brittany still in New York?"

Santana exhaled in resignation. "Fine! We're moving here. Happy?"

Finn frowned and Blaine braced himself for the silliness that would surely spew out of his mouth. He wasn't disappointed. "What about the kids?"

Rachel slapped his arm and rolled her eyes.

"They're here with us, cretin!" Santana replied shaking her head as if she still couldn't believe the depth of Finn obliviousness.

"Can we get back to the part where you're coming to live here?" Rachel asked practically lighting up the limo with the force of her beaming smile.

"It's not a big deal," Santana huffed. Blaine recognized the expression on her face. He was suddenly reminded of the seventeen year-old who had so stubbornly fought herself and had no defense against the world but mocking smiles and harsh words.

"You've got some nerve," Kurt muttered starring at Santana until she shrugged. Blaine didn't understand the meaning of the tense look they exchanged. He tried not to feel left out; he guessed after only a couple of weeks he couldn't know all their stories yet.

"Explain," Mercedes demanded.

Blaine watched as Santana locked her jaw; she seemed to be struggling with words. She still hated talking about herself, it seemed. She'd rather rely on her sharp tongue to cut people than to share anything meaningful. Very few people had that privilege. After a few moment of silence, she finally relented. They were those very few people after all and it delighted Blaine that he was included.

"I've decided to put my law degree to use," she crossed her arms defiantly but she wasn't scowling when she took in their smiling faces. "I have to pass the New York state Bar of course but I think I'd love to be a lawyer and help more people here. Plus Brit and the kids love it here. And, it will be easier for you guys," she mentioned to Kurt and Rachel with her perfectly manicured hand, "since rehearsals started to have Brit here."

Rachel actually squealed then and even Santana had no defenses against the grin on her face. Santana's own smile was delighted, proud and full of eagerness.

"Hm mm. Yeah, so that's the story. We've been living here with Tike," Blaine had to laugh at the use of their old high school couple name and Santana's nose scrunched up in the cutest way at the sound and suddenly Blaine felt grounded and connected and so happy he felt a lump rise in his throat. The past was he past. He could lament on it and get stuck in it or he could let go of it. Let the present heal his wounds. There was no reason why he shouldn't let himself simply be with his friends. Be happy with and for them, because they were his friends. He might not know everything but he knew enough and he loved them enough. He took a deep breath and grinned when both Finn and Mercedes grabbed each of Santana's hands. "Don't be too harsh on them; we made them promise not to say anything until I got a job."

"Congratulations, Santana," Finn said with a proud smile of his own.

"I still can't believe you managed to keep this under wrap. I mean, how did you and Tina, the biggest gossips to ever grace the planet, keep it to yourself?" Kurt asked.

Santana's smile turned a bit wicked at that and Blaine felt Kurt stiffen next to him.

_Uh-oh._

"Well, gee, Kurt, I wonder what could have distracted you so much that you missed something so huge," she asked tapping her index finger against her chin. Blaine's shoulder snapped up and he found sudden interest in the shape of his nails. He heard Kurt's sharp breath intake and old habits took over. Before he realized what he was doing, he took hold of Kurt's hand. The need to comfort was more important than his fear of rejection. It didn't stop his heart from thumping loudly against his ribcage as he felt Kurt squeeze his fingers closer. He turned to look at Santana and he found her rubbing a spot in her arm while she glared at Mercedes. He smiled, guessing at what had happened. You always had to get through Mercedes to get to Kurt. He loved her for that.

Rachel grabbed Kurt's arms and commandeered his attention. Blaine watched him as he chattered with his co-director about rehearsal plans, calling Mike, and the kids' reception of the news. He looked so happy, so beautiful, so relaxed that Blaine felt his lips tug upward again. He felt happy, too. At that moment, surrounded by true friends, with Kurt's hand still wrapped in his, warmed over by laughter and the feeling of belonging, he decided to let go. He stopped overthinking; remembering past aches and just let himself be happy for his friends, and maybe for himself as well.

* * *

><p>The red carpet leading to the galacharity/whatever was his mother thinking? Was, and there was no other way to describe it, outrageous. Blaine knew of his mother's relations; he was aware that she knew everyone and was known by all. He just didn't realize that everyone included Anne Hathaway and Andrew Garfield. Blaine had just avoided bumping into Ellen and Portia (he had blushed and stammered and fled while the two stars smiled at him). Two minutes ago, he had shook hands with Adam Levine (who 'adored' Mercedes). And was that Adele? ("Yes, Blaine, it's her. I'll introduce you later," Kurt had smiled indulgently and pushed him forward with both hands on his shoulders.)

He'd tried getting out of it, explaining to the rest of the group that he could just go in through the other door (he had relations after all) but they had just laughed and almost dragged him after them. It was just a _lot_ to take in. The camera flashes, the shouts, all those smiling celebrities, Blaine felt well out of his depth.

It took a little while but after almost an hour of interviews (not that he was interviewed but Rachel and Mercedes often pulled him along, introducing him, kissing him and generally treating him like he was a new born and the press was the eager relatives, dying for a peak of him) and camera poses and shouting 'Chanel tux and Dior shoes' they were finally inside.

Blaine sighed in relief but they had barely found their table when he fervently wished to be back on the red carpet.

"Darling!"

He tried not to flinch but the way she had said it, so sweet and so loud, hurt his ears and his soul in equal measures. He turned around and he was proud of himself for the smile that appeared on his face.

"Hi, Mom," lame as it sounded, it seemed enough. What he said wasn't of much interest for her; he'd learned that a long time ago.

She looked perfect. Perfect dress (a vintage Alexander McQueen of deep amber), perfect hair, perfect smile, perfect make-up... Perfect all over and Blaine resented it. She kissed his cheek (or at least she brushed her cheeks against his in what felt like everything but a motherly kiss) and then appraised his company. Her eyes delightfully latched on Rachel, Mercedes and Santana but when they fell on Kurt, the smile finally turned hard and false. He couldn't help it, Blaine felt himself prickle all over in defiance and hurt.

"Mom, you remember Finn, Rachel, Mercedes, Santana and of course, Kurt," he smiled but he knew his eyes were cold.

"Why, of course, darling. Your friends from Lima," she gave a jerky sort of nod that made her look like a Muppet. "What a lovely surprise. Please, do sit. I hope you'll have a lovely time," she turned to Blaine, obviously done with that. "Blaine, sweetheart, don' tell me you came alone," he didn't miss the edge in her tone.

She wasn't happy about Kurt. She'd never been happy about Kurt. Blaine had understood a long time ago that it was the reason why his relationship with his mother had gone astray over the years. She'd never liked the only person he had loved more than life itself. At first, he'd thought that she was simply against the whole 'boyfriend' part of the equation but the more time passed, the more he realized that it was Kurt, the person that she disliked. She'd never said anything about it; she was too well-mannered for that but her eyes always turned cold and her movements were stiffer around Kurt. His suspicions were confirmed when he overheard her once comparing Kurt to a peasant's son to his dad. And that summarized his darling mother in a nutshell. She put people into boxes and it wouldn't be so bad if she at least chose the right boxes. She had judged Kurt and his background without really knowing him. If she had listened she would have known that Kurt was the most wonderful person he had ever met and there wasn't anyone who could say otherwise. At least, not people who really knew him.

How can a mother/son relationship function under those terms? It couldn't and it didn't matter that he wasn't with Kurt any more (or hadn't been for years); he never really recovered from the blow. After the break-up, she had kept on repeating how it was time for new and better things. She'd been so cheerful. Sometimes, in his darkest times, Blaine thought he'd never forgive her for being so happy when he had been so devastated. It had been one of the reasons why he'd been glad to be all the way across the country at the time.

So it was with a bit of mean satisfaction that he smiled at his mother and declared, "Kurt is my date, Mom."

Marie-Anne's smile turned positively rigid and her eyes glittered icily but she wisely kept her mouth shut. It wouldn't do to cause a scene, of course.

"Have a nice evening and don't forget to donate for the cause," she told everyone around the table and promptly left. A stunned silence followed her departure and Blaine was already regretting his actions. This was exactly why he tried to avoid his mother as much as possible. She had the knack for turning him into a monster. A bitter, needy, sad, idiocies-spewing monster.

"Wow," was Finn's articulate exclamation.

"You weren't kidding about your mother," Mercedes said, her eyebrows so high on her forehead, they almost disappeared under her hairline.

Blaine, however, didn't have anything to say. He was looking at Kurt; ashamed and anxious. Kurt smiled sadly at him, mouthing 'It's okay'.

It wasn't. Of course, it wasn't but it will soon be. Just a few more hours and they'd all be free.

* * *

><p>As the friends settled down and conversation finally started flowing Kurt offered to go to the bar and order drinks. There were plenty of waiters waltzing around the tables but he needed the excuse. He needed a few moments to himself to just breathe and not have Blaine just a distance away. The skin of his hand was still tingling from the ghost of Blaine's touch. Just the thought of it made his breath hitch in his throat.<p>

The situation was getting stickier by the second. Taking into consideration everything that had been happening all day long, he was quite proud of himself for not seeking a quiet place, rolling into the fetal position and rocking himself back and forth until he could breathe again. There was the fact that fifteen years had not lessened the attraction; Blaine Anderson was still the most beautiful thing he had ever beheld. Add to that their (deluded) friends' involvement, Mrs. Anderson's dirty looks (some things really never changed, did they? Oh! How he had enjoyed the look on her face when Blaine called him his date. Of course, he knew Blaine was just antagonizing his mother and it was technically not a date but he had liked the sound of that more than he should have), the fact that Blaine looked particularly delectable in a tux (always have and probably always will) and Kurt knew he was in trouble. His fluttering stomach was in knots and his heart seemed to be permanently lodged somewhere around his Adam-apple. In other words, Kurt was back to being seventeen; back when every little emotion was linked to an over-gelled boyfriend of his.

He ordered the drinks and let Jennifer Moonsy's (a young and rising star of the music industry) sweet and husky voice settle over him as he waited for them. Someone came up to him but he ignored them.

"You look exactly like someone who's attending a Marie-Anne Anderson party should," a familiar voice drawled next to him. Kurt smiled despite himself. Leaning against the bar, drinking a bloody Mary, and eyeing him warily was one of his favorite people in the world. She looked gorgeous and alive and so dear; his heart ached.

"And what is that, Beatrice?"

She tilted her head in a thoughtful manner. "Miserable, a little frightened and a lot mortified," she replied.

The more he looked, the more beautiful she got. She always had that effect on people. She just lit up any place she was in. The Anderson curse he used to call it. It had been one of his favorite parts of being in a relationship with Blaine. Kurt could make this kind of outrageously flattering comments and never worry that his boyfriend would get a big head. The way Blaine would always smile sheepishly and blush softly afterwards used to make his heart melt.

Kurt wanted to launch himself at Bea and hold her until the wariness disappeared from her eyes but he knew that it wasn't possible. What she said next only confirmed his thoughts.

"Not that you don't deserve it," her tone was hard and unyielding. Kurt's back stiffened in response. He deserved it, of course, but it still cut him through like a sharp knife to the guts. He wanted to explain, make her understand but what was the point? Sometimes, he wasn't sure he understood either. He'd been driven by fear (something he was still ashamed of) that day; it had blinded him. Of course he had regretted it but his wishful thinking didn't change the past.

However, there was still something he wanted to say.

"I've missed you, you know?" She nodded. "I'm sorry."

She nodded, again. "I should probably tell you something lame and cliché like: 'It's not me you should be apologizing to,'" Kurt almost laughed at her dramatic tone. "But the truth is: you did hurt me, too." His anguish must have shown on his face because her eyes softened. "I had so many plans for us and for the two of you. It broke my heart." Kurt's throat dried at her words. He'd had so many plans, too.

She must have been waiting for a chance to say all this to him because despite her thoroughness in crushing his spirits, she wasn't done yet.

"And you chose to break-up with him the week before he had to leave for college on the other side of the country which means he had to go through it all alone. That was particularly cruel," Bea's tone was flat which made her reproachful (and truthful) words hurt that much more.

"I didn't mean to be cruel. I never wanted to leave him. I... I don't know... I just didn't want it to end bitterly," he tried to explain, his voice as hollow as his heart.

There was pity in Bea's eyes, then. He wasn't sure which he hated the most; her accusation or her pity.

"You know what's really sad about this? In the end, you didn't really know him. He would have gone through it. For you, he would have done it all."

Kurt's chest suddenly feels too tight, the pain inflicted upon him almost too sharp and too huge to bear. The fact that he was still standing was a testimony to his self-control and his many years of work on Broadway. He knew Blaine. He knew Blaine better than he knew himself and no one, not even Bea, had the right to say otherwise. How could he call her out, though? His past actions were his only proof and his last act towards Blaine had been cruelly selfish. He had no defense.

His heart shaking and his voice barely above a whisper, he asked, "How do you know? You have no way of knowing what would have become of us. No one does."

She took a sip of her cocktail and then looked at him as if he was dim-witted. It was a look he often saw Rachel give Finn and the thought wasn't flattering.

"You're an idiot."

Despite his misery, Kurt felt a bubble of laughter climbing up his throat. It felt strange and uncomfortable and amazingly good.

_Only Bea._

"Oh, I know," he said with a small smile and for the first time since this horrible conversation started, he saw warmth in her beautiful hazel eyes.

"He's still the same, you know? He's still the same boy you fell in love with."

"I don't know about that," he argued because for all the similarities between teenage Blaine and Doctor Anderson, Kurt had seen many differences. Blaine stands taller (not literally, though because Blaine's last growth spurt happened when he was fourteen, he'd often lamented), there's a bit more defiance to him, a little less sweetness and even though Kurt knew he probably had changed in the same ways and even if he had no right to, he still mourned his eager-to-please, sweet-smiling boyfriend.

Bea shakes her head with an enchanting small smile. "His skin is a little bit tougher and he doesn't finance hair-gel companies any more but his heart hasn't changed."

Kurt felt tears prickle behind his eyelids. She surprised him by taking hold of his hand. She squeezed reassuringly and Kurt was able to take a deep breath. He didn't choke on the depth of emotions which was trying to dislodge his heart like he'd been afraid to.

"You're killing me," he whispered because this was everything he feared and everything he never dared to hope. (That wasn't true, though. No matter what bullshit he keeps repeating himself, he'd always hoped for Blaine, even if it was just in small ways.)

Bea leaned her head against his shoulder in an old, familiar gesture that twisted his insides. "He's still yours."

He lost the battle. Tears started to fall and he had the scary thought that they might never stop. Bea took charge, then. She asked a passing waiter to bring the drinks to their tables and led Kurt to the ladies room. She waited quietly while he freshened up.

"Better?" she asked when he felt more human.

"Yes, thank you."

"This doesn't mean that you have been forgiven," she said her eyes twinkling.

"Will a new pair of Louboutin do?"

"It would certainly help."

* * *

><p>The evening seemed to be a success. After a few poignant, heart-felt speeches about equality and support and hope for a better world (Blaine had tried really hard not to roll his eyes when his mother had said that but when he caught Bea's eyes across the table, he gave in and rolled his eyes so far back in his head it almost hurt and it had felt good) and a copious dinner, music started again and people started dancing.<p>

Adam Levine was on stage, belting out _Misery_ and Blaine had to smile because of course he'd sing that song. And then, he was being pulled out of his chair by Santana and Mercedes. He saw Rachel pull Bea and James to their feet as well and in a matter of seconds the whole group was on the dance floor dancing their asses off. Adam Levine made place to Florence + The Machine who brought the house down with _The Dog Days Are Over_. By then Blaine was having the time of his life. It didn't seem to matter anymore that he was at one of his mother's 'parties' and that he had sworn to get out of there as soon as was humanely possible. All that mattered was his friends and how they formed a circle and how they laughed and hugged and rubbed inappropriately against each other and how his sister was in Kurt's arms while James was shaking his ass against Mercedes and that she was laughing like she had never laughed before. He was sweating and he was thirsty but his heart was full and his soul seemed to have become alive again. There was a pause while Adele ('Jesus! Adele!' He'd yelled in Kurt's ear and Kurt had laughed and patted his shoulder indulgently and Blaine felt so happy he was pretty sure he could fly) prepared on stage and the friends went back to the table to get drinks. The men dropped their jackets on the back of their chairs. Blaine knew he wouldn't be dancing because Adele's music was more appropriate for slow dancing but he didn't mind. He was glad to just sit and watch Bea and James or Rachel and Finn. Mercedes and Santana took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and Blaine almost scowled at their sacrilege because, Hello! Adele was on stage, but he suddenly realized that he was now alone with Kurt and the thought eclipsed any other. Even Adele.

Blaine felt alive. It was an odd thought to have during a gala, but it was nonetheless true. Life was coursing through his veins in a rush that felt strangely like music and he just wanted to stare at Kurt profile and if that made him strange than, yes, he was strange. Kurt was watching the performance with a small smile on his face and he looked ethereally beautiful despite the redness of his eyes. The discussion he had with Bea at the bar didn't escape Blaine and he hoped she hadn't shaken Kurt up.

He sighed because it was Bea so, of course, she had.

"I hope Bea wasn't too harsh," he said.

Kurt's sudden tension was palpable. "She didn't say anything I didn't need to hear."

"Oh."

"It's all right, don't worry," Kurt finally turned his head to smile at him. "I know she means well."

"The roads to hell...," Blaine drawled and Kurt chuckled.

"Even if I believed in Heaven and Hell I could never accept that Beatrice Anderson could end up in Hell."

"You didn't grow up with her," Blaine dead-panned and when Kurt laughed, his heart swelled to three times its size. "But, seriously though, is everything okay?"

Kurt nodded. "Yeah," his voice was soft and tender. "Everything is okay."

Kurt looked back to the stage, eye glinting in the dim light. What did it say about Blaine that he was surrounded by super stars, a once in a lifetime opportunity to sneak a hug on Ellen or talk music with Michael Bubble but he remained seated, watching a face he knew so well, he could draw it with his eyes closed.

"I had no idea your mother was so… influential," Kurt broke the silence.

"Well, being the devil surely has its perks," Blaine replied.

"Your mother isn't the devil," Kurt rolled his eyes.

"She works for him, then?"

For a moment, it looked like Kurt wanted to say something else but Mercedes and Santana were suddenly there, dragging them to their feet while Adele started her classic selection and the first few notes of _Make You Feel My Love_ were heard.

Blaine put an arm around Santana and they swayed to the heart-melting song.

"Christ on a bike Lopez, how high are your heels," Blaine mumbled with a frown when his curly head barely reached Santana's nose. It caused Santana to laugh so much, she had to stop dancing.

"Oh, Anderson," she said with a shake of her head when she calmed down. She smiled, almost sweetly, before pulling him back to her and it was more of a moving hug than actual dancing but Blaine felt too good to complain.

* * *

><p>At the end of the evening, which was closer to very early morning, the first person to be dropped off was Blaine. Everyone got out of the car which was a feat on its own considering the level of alcohol, giddiness and tiredness of everyone involved. Blaine assured them that he was only tipsy but he kept saying how 'awesome' everyone was and how much he wanted them to be happy so... yeah, not so much tipsy as foxed out of his wits.<p>

They all hugged. Literally, in the middle of a New York sidewalk, all six of them hugging and giggling and stumbling.

"You guys are awesome," Blaine said once again causing Finn to snort.

"Mama Anderson might be a cold bitch but she knows how to throw a party!" Santana laughed.

"Preach," Mercedes concurred.

"Okay, enough," Kurt intervened. He grabbed Blaine by the shoulder and gently but sternly led him towards his front door.

"You're the most awesome," Blaine grinned idiotically and Kurt shook his head, trying valiantly to hide a smile but failing.

"You're the most drunk. Now, gimme your keys," Kurt asked.

Blaine's confusion at that moment was probably the most adorable thing Kurt had ever seen in his life. "Your keys, Blaine, so I can get you inside," Kurt explained, pointing to the door.

"Hey, that's my home," Blaine grinned.

"How astute, Drunky. Now give me your keys before my fingers get frost bitten."

Blaine started looking through his pockets and after a few dangerous drunken swaying, he finally got them out. Kurt decided to put his arm around Blaine, just to prevent any accidents, that was all. If his heartbeat went through the roof at the feel of Blaine's firm and warm body against his own, it was a secret he would be more than happy to keep for himself.

Blaine pointed to his apartment, which thankfully was on the ground floor, and Kurt led them to the door. The hallway window was open and their idiot friends were still outside, laughing and making a general nuisance of themselves.

"Geddit Hummel!" Santana yelled and Kurt groaned out loud. She was already on his list for her earlier comment in the limousine. Kurt went to the window and leaned out of it.

"You better shut it, Santana or I will shove those monstrosity you call shoes down your throat."

The only reply he got was a wink. As if that would make sense.

"Shut up!" he said again, unable to let her have the last word and then, he went back to the still smiling Blaine.

"You're a good friend," Blaine said softly, bringing his hand floppily to Kurt's shoulder in a gesture that was surely meant affectionately. As a mean of distraction, Kurt grabbed the keys from Blaine's hands and tried a few of them before he found the correct one.

Later, he'd probably regret not getting a better look at Blaine's place but in that moment he was more focused on getting Blaine safely to bed (Oh, the field day Santana would have with this) than anything else.

"Bedroom?" he asked and rolled his eyes at the saucy smile Blaine gave him. "If I was mean, I'd take a picture of that stupid smile and blackmail you with it for the rest of your life."

"But you're not mean, Kurt Hummel."

"I could be."

"No, you couldn't." Blaine went to the couch and simply flopped down on it. A few seconds later, he was gone to the world. Kurt smiled fondly at the image he presented. He took a picture then, another secret between him and himself. There were some temptations that were meant to be yielded to. He thought about rousing him to at least take his tux jacket off but he knew from experience that it wouldn't be happening. Instead, Kurt took off Blaine's shoes, draped the couch afghan over Blaine and before he could think better of it, he dropped a kiss on his forehead.

He froze when he felt Blaine shift.

"Good night, Kurt," he mumbled sleepily, eyes still closed while Kurt's heart was fighting its way out of his ribcage. "Thank you for being my date, tonight."

The moment was almost too surreal for Kurt's tired brain. "You're quite welcome. Sweet dreams, Blaine," he whispered back. He stayed for a few more minutes, sitting on Blaine's coffee table, watching him sleep. Calm settled over him and he had the irrational wish that time could just stop and let him enjoy this serenity forever. He thought about all Bea had said earlier and how desperate it made him. Desperate for a past that was long gone and desperate to have this man (this wonderful, absurdly gorgeous, undeniably flawed yet perfect man) in his life for as long as he could. He thought about the silly evening they just had and the many more they could share. He thought about all his past mistakes and how none of them compared to the pain of losing Blaine. He thought that if he let himself, he'd fall in love again as easily as it was to breathe.

The honking of the limo outside brought him back to reality. He was almost out of the door when he saw a notepad and a pen on a table in the hallway.

_Sorry about the tux. I hope it's not ruined._

_Call me if you need the name of a good dry cleaner._

_1-212-555-1985_

_Kurt aka The Most Awesome._

Maybe he could stop being desperate and just be happy.

A/N: I must apologize for the delay. I had to rewrite this chapter a couple of times to get it where I wanted it to go. I feel comfortable with this and I hope you enjoyed.


	7. Of goodbyes and princes

Disclaimer: I wish! No, seriously, I do! So very badly.

A/N: Yay and update and it hasn't been six months since the last one! I'm so getting better at this! Just a quick note to thank you so very much for every review, every follow, every adds to your lists! My lil' fic and I are deeply grateful!

Thanks to my lovely betas: anddreammylifeaway and ttinycourageous. This was a hard one for me to go through but you were everything a girlfriend could ask for! *high five*

So, the rating went up because of some swear words (Blaine swears when he's heart-broken) and I angsted it up in this one. I hope you'll like it.

_**Part VII: Of good-byes and Princes**_

The morning after the gala, Kurt woke up slowly, reluctantly, as if the dream world was too good a place to leave, as if his heart was still there. He couldn't for the life of him remember why. He felt strange; heavy and not quite ready for the rest of the day which was quite unusual for him. For as long as he could remember, Kurt had always been an early and ready riser. He'd never had trouble chasing the fogginess of sleep away.

He buried his face in his pillow and allowed his mind to adjust and recall the events of the day before. He couldn't yet wrap his head around the fact that it all happened and that it had happened less than twenty-four hours ago. Opening his eyes slowly and squinting at the already darkening sky (March had never been a very decisive month), he allowed himself a smile. He let his lips stretch and stretch until they had almost slit his face in half, and he allowed the unaltered joy of it be the first thing he really felt that morning. He let it take over his body, contract then loosen every muscle, let it fill his veins in a dizzying rush, let it consume his soul and lift him off this lonely world, even if it was just for a couple of moments.

Eventful as the previous day had been (and goodness was it ever!) he still got to spend half of it with Blaine and the thought alone was enough to send him flying over the moon. They'd talked and laughed and danced and touched. His heart was singing and if this was to become a regular occurrence, Kurt thought he could actually write a bunch of musicals on his own. Sure, they'd be incredibly cheesy and not very deep in the plot department but they'd be glorious in their own way because how can anything inspired by feelings like these not be?

He didn't let himself get carried away. He knew his place and the past was heavy enough to never be forgotten but Blaine... _Blaine_. It was all he could think about. Blaine and the easy way he moved as if his body was never something he questioned. Blaine and that ridiculously lovely smile that could probably light up the whole of New York for years to come. Blaine the gentleman. Blaine the doctor. Blaine the most idiotically adorable drunk to ever exist. Blaine and his delicate heart. Blaine's mesmerizing, magnetic eyes and the way they captured everything without malice or cynicism. Blaine the artist with a voice smooth enough to leave Kurt breathless every single time he sang or spoke. Blaine the friend, without conditions, heart all in. Blaine and the way he touched people; always with respect, never quite realizing the impact those fingers had on the recipient of his attentions. (Kurt remembers his Ohio days, in the halls of McKinley, how even Santana seemed to thaw like ice under the August sun when Blaine patted her shoulder in reassurance and comfort. A feat that usually only Brittany and sometimes Quinn were able to manage.)

Blaine. Tattooed upon Kurt's heart and never ever going anywhere. The thought should have been depressing but it wasn't. It was just a fact of Kurt's life. He was Kurt Hummel, son of Burt and Elizabeth Hummel. He came from Ohio and after a few years of wandering around New York with only armor his dreams and his stubborn heart, he became an actor. He lived in The Village (both because of nostalgia over his earlier struggling artist New Yorker days and because he loved it). He had light brown hair and eyes that seemed unable to decide which color they wanted to be. He was currently working on his first musical with his best friend. He loved his family more than he could ever express. And his heart belonged to Blaine Anderson.

It wasn't as if he hadn't tried to move on. He wanted to be able to let go. He needed so badly to shake it out. It had been fifteen years, of course he wanted to be over his high school romance but there was a slight problem with that plan. It had never been 'just' a high school romance. It had always felt like more. There had been days when Kurt could have sworn their love could conquer the world. That it could be felt everywhere. That it had become an entity on its own, enveloping them and protecting them from any kind of evil. Kurt never thought that the worst of evils would come from inside their bubble of happiness. From him. He'd never thought that his need to protect himself could overpower that force.

And after all this time, after new friends, new lovers, so many new memories and battles, his heart still only responded to one cue. Blaine Anderson. So he went through life with the knowledge that no matter what happened and who he met (and he'd met some pretty interesting and lovely people) the only way for him to be truly happy was to be with Blaine. In any capacity. He'd never dreamed he'd be given the opportunity and that was enough to make him feel utterly ecstatic. Of course, for the sake of self-preservation and pretense (because who the hell could remain in love with their high school sweetheart fifteen years after the break-up?) Kurt never let anyone know any of this (sometimes he was so good with that lie that he almost believed it himself). From time to time, he used to catch Rachel looking at him as if she knew, as if she understood. She'd look at him with such despair and the need to fix Kurt's lonely heart; his throat would close up but they had never brought up Blaine. No one was fool enough to do that, not even Rachel.

There had been days when Kurt hated it. All of it. He hated himself and his stubborn heart for not wanting to listen to reason. He hated Blaine on principle because he'd gotten so deep into Kurt's blood; he couldn't get rid of him. He hated the memories and how their joys were dampened with guilt and longing. He hated his friends for moving on, getting their lives together and getting their happy endings every day. He hated the long nights, alone or with a new lover when the only way to keep from crying was to bite his lip until it was bloody. He hated the break-ups and their devastation and how hard he used to try to make it work and how now he just let it happen, let the relationships die before they could really start because despite his best intentions and best efforts, his heart was never in it.

It wasn't to say that he had never loved anyone else, because of course he had. He'd fallen in love several times and his heart was big enough to make room for new people. Mark, the history student with whom Kurt had spent long nights laughing about historical figures and trying to connect Kurt to the British Royal Family (because how could he not be royalty?). Everett, the dancer who had the body of a Greek god and the heart of a Disney Prince. Rupert, the casting director who'd treated Kurt like a normal person for once and had eyes the color of a summer storm. George, the lawyer, serious and busy and so sure of himself and life but always desperate for Kurt. He'd almost gotten married to George. They had been so different but they balanced each other quite naturally and the sex had been rather earth shattering but slowly and surely, like an abandoned flower in summer, their relationship had withered and he never got around to proposing. After that, he'd quite given up. Not intentionally; those decisions are never made consciously. Somehow, it kept happening and if Kurt was honest with himself, he had stopped trying to prevent it.

Most of all, though, he hated himself and the moment of weakness that had fated this half-life.

He had never been able to think about that day clearly. Not without feeling like the world was closing in on him, judgmental and cruel and furious. The first time he allowed himself to really think about it was two weeks ago, after seeing Blaine again for the first time. On that park bench, unable to move or make a decision, he had let himself relive that day. It had hurt, the pain so acute, his reflex had been to close his mind again. However, he'd done it, as if the pain could help. Healthy pain to begin the healing process.

As he lay on his bed, he tested it again. Let his mind open that box and pull out each memory like a fragile, explosive item.

Kurt remembered waking up, dreading the day. He knew it was going to be a painful good-bye (the idea of leaving home felt suddenly stupid and unsafe and devastating) but he knew that he was meant for greater things and sacrifice had never been something Kurt feared. So, he went downstairs, found his dad, Carole and Finn ready for breakfast. The sight of his family smiling sadly but encouragingly at him was like a punch to the heart but he powered through and prepared his special pancakes for the occasion. He made extra because it kept him busy at the stove and hid the tears from the rest of them. Later he helped Carole with the dishes and she was able to make him laugh telling him a story about Finn, a box of cereal and super glue but the laughter turned into tears and they fell into each other's arms. Their hands were wet and soapy but they clung to each other. Carole wasn't his mother but she had done such a fabulous job in turning them into a family, treating Kurt as her own. Her enormous heart healed wounds that he had never been aware of.

"I'm going to miss you," he whispered and she tightened her hold around him.

"Sweetheart, you are meant for so much. You are going to be fine, more than fine. You're going to shine so brightly, we'll be able to see you every day," she replied, her voice wobbly.

"Still gonna miss you."

"You won't have time for that," she joked but she rocked him from side to side, not quite ready to let go.

"I doubt that."

Later came the good-bye with his father. In his bedroom, left alone while Finn brought the last of his suitcases downstairs, the Hummels looked at each other wordlessly.

"C'mere," Burt grunted while opening his arms to his son and Kurt almost ran to him. He felt so young suddenly. All of his bravado and rationality gone, he was unable to imagine a world where he couldn't see his dad every morning and every evening. How could he ever be safe away from his father's safe embrace? It felt ludicrous that he could have ever thought of such a thing.

"I love you," Burt's gruff voice came from over his head.

Kurt squeezed his eyes shut and let it envelop him. This love that carried him through life and made him the man he was today. He was Burt Hummel's son and if that wasn't the best thing that could have happened to him, he didn't know what was.

"I love you, too."

"I'm so proud of you."

And that was enough to put him back on track. He was going to miss his father every minute, every step of the way but he had to go do something for himself. Show the world that Burt Hummel's son was deserving of his father's pride. So, he squeezed his father close for another five seconds and let go.

He went downstairs after washing his face and sat on the front steps of the veranda, watching Finn and Blaine put his packed life in the back of Blaine's car. They were talking quietly and from the way they kept looking at him every few seconds, Kurt knew he was the subject of their hushed conversation. His heart squeezed at the thought. His idiot brother and his ridiculous boyfriend, worried about him. His lips twitched into a smile and he shook his head at them.

Soon, they were done and Blaine bounded up to him, a sad sort of smile on his face.

"Hello, Beautiful," he sang as he dropped a kiss on Kurt's upturned lips.

"Good morning," Kurt sighed, his heart inexplicably heavier. He suddenly felt like he wouldn't survive this day.

"I'll go say hello to your parents," he said before going inside.

Kurt watched Finn settle down next to him on the steps and he was already so tired of goodbyes.

Finn kept his eyes on Blaine's car. He cleared his throat a couple of times and Kurt felt a tremor of amusement as he watched the big lug trying to make his mouth form words. He made his body relax and dropped his head on Finn's arm. (His shoulder was too high to aim for it.)

"Try not to eat all of ONU while I'm away," Kurt teased and it worked because Finn laughed.

"Try not to scare the whole of New York into shape before the weekend is over," he shot back and Kurt smiled through his sudden tears. He could hear Burt lecturing Blaine about gas and mileage and Blaine's quiet replies of reassurance. Kurt wiped his cheek dry and went inside to rescue his boyfriend. He stopped short on the doorstep of the lounge.

Blaine was in Burt's arms as if it was the most natural thing in the world and Kurt's heart felt suddenly too big for his chest.

"Be good," Burt said and Blaine nodded his head, chin bopping on Burt's shoulder.

Kurt didn't know what triggered the sudden panic. He could never recall. Maybe it was the way Blaine had smiled at Burt, trusting and lovingly, with all his heart. Maybe it was the text Finn got from Rachel at that exact moment and the frown of sadness that had marred his brother's face. Or maybe the weeks of subtle worry had finally caught up with him. All he knew was that he felt utterly too young for this. Too unprepared and unpracticed. His heart was beating so fast, he was surprised his father, Finn and Blaine or even the neighbors couldn't hear it. He felt like it was shaking the walls.

He couldn't do it.

He felt breathless and dizzy and sick and he needed to sit down before his body shut down on him.

He couldn't do it.

He felt so out of it that he only realized he was back in his bedroom when he dropped on his bed.

He couldn't do it.

He concentrated on breathing in and out. He tried not to think of goodbyes anymore but all he managed was to close up his own throat because how could he not think of goodbyes? He just lived through a bunch of them and they had eaten his heart out. He couldn't say another goodbye. Not to Blaine. Especially not to Blaine.

He'd been feeling like this for a few weeks now but nothing of this magnitude. Nothing like this clawing fear, gripping his gut and tearing his heart to shreds.

He couldn't do it.

Blaine and their relationship was the only pure and perfect thing Kurt could take with him. It couldn't change. It had to stay the same but Kurt knew in his heart that it would change. They were going to live on different sides of the country. They were building new lives for each other and in that moment, the precious relationship they had cultivated for the last two years became all that mattered to Kurt. He saw no way this long distant relationship was going to work, stay strong.

He was about to face a whole bunch of 'new' and the thought of Blaine becoming an 'old' was too much to bear. He realized that if he wanted to prevent horrible loss, he had to cut the ties now. Make it quick and clean.

He couldn't let Blaine become a sad memory. He was too important, he meant too much to Kurt.

"Hey," came a soft voice from the doorway. Kurt couldn't make himself move, couldn't even turn his head to look at Blaine. "You okay?"

Kurt could only shake his head.

Blaine came to sit next to him on the bed but Kurt couldn't bear the proximity. The smell of him and the warmth and the affection that Blaine radiated with every breath he took. Kurt bolted from the bed but finally turned to face Blaine.

The concerned frown on his face made Kurt's heart pulse with anguish. The thought of causing Blaine any kind of worry or pain was thoroughly crushing but Kurt had to do this, for both of their sakes.

He took a deep breath, made his gaze steady and said it, "We have to end it."

For a second, Blaine looked confused, his frown turning quizzical but as he eyes bore into Kurt's, understanding suddenly dawned on him and his face paled. "What?" he asked his eyes no longer warm but scared.

"We can't be together anymore," Kurt said. His voice was barely above a whisper but even he could hear the conviction of his tone. "I'm sorry."

"Of course we can be together. Kurt...," he was up now and the desperation in his eyes was clawing through Kurt's chest. Blaine tried to catch Kurt's hand but he dodged him. He couldn't let Blaine touch him now. "Kurt, we talked about this. It's going to be all right."

"No it's not! It's not going to be anything but torture and pain and missing you and I can't do that. I just... I can't. You're going to be so far away and you're... You're going to be amazing and...you-you're going to meet new people and I'm not going to be there for any of it and I can't believe I'm saying all this but it's the truth. I won't have my love for you be replaced by resentment... Please don't ask me to do that."

There was a heavy pause where they looked at each other in a strange mix of anger and pain that settled inside Kurt's guts. When he spoke, Blaine's voice was hushed from a kind of dryness that came from holding back tears.

"And you think this isn't going to be difficult for me?" Blaine's voice was suddenly edged with anger. "You think this hasn't been keeping me up at night for the last six months?"

"I'm not saying that. I just can't bear the thought of losing you!"

"Who says you're gonna lose me?" Blaine's voice was full on pleading then. "Long distance is manageable nowadays. We'll talk and see each other every day. You won't even miss me."

Kurt's breath hitched in his throat as he took that in. Not miss him? Did that mean that Blaine wouldn't miss him?

"Don't look at me like that," Blaine pleaded taking a step forward but stopped when Kurt took a step backwards. "I will miss you every second, you idiot," he smiled sadly. "Kurt. Where is this coming from? We talked about this. I thought you were all right. I thought we were great."

"Finn and Rachel broke up...," Kurt said remembering Finn's sad frown from earlier. "They love each other but they're being realistic."

"Don't!" Blaine spat. "Do not compare what we have with what they have. They love each other but their relationship is different from ours. We're stronger."

"Our relationship is perfect and I want it to remain so. I don't want to spoil anything. Can you give me that?"

At that moment, Kurt realized the extent of his selfishness but he was too far gone, now. There could be no backing down. It was for the better.

Blaine gripped his hair and looked ready to explode.

"This is ridiculous," he breathed.

"Can you guarantee it? Can you tell me that you're one hundred percent sure about our future?" Kurt could barely see through his unshed tears but he knew Blaine enough to recognize his moment of hesitation. He saw his eyes waver in their steadiness and he saw his anxious swallow and that was all Kurt needed. He felt his heart shrink to the size of a pea and wondered how he could still be standing through the pain. It really didn't matter if the doubt had been there all along or if Kurt's had planted the seed; it was there and it was all Kurt could see anymore.

"Can you guarantee it, Kurt?" Blaine's voice was thick and broken. "No one can predict the future but I am yours and you are mine and I love you. Can't that be enough

_Couldn't it?_ Kurt's shattered, helpless heart whispered. He felt too full at that moment. Too much pain happening all at once and he was dizzy with it. He wanted so badly to be like Blaine. He wanted to be able to hope but fear seemed to be his only source of intelligence right then and it couldn't hope. It didn't let Kurt feel anything but like a little boy trying desperately to cling to his security blanket while going to sleep at a stranger's house.

"Please, Kurt." Suddenly, Blaine was there, his hands cradling Kurt's cheek so tenderly, Kurt had no choice but to melt into the touch. Blaine rested his forehead against his and dropped a kiss next to his nose. A sweet kiss, a kiss that promised love infinitely. A kiss that made Kurt's tears fall when he thought it would be one of the lasts. "You won't lose me. Whatever happens, you and me; it's a done deal. You are mine," he whispered achingly and when he brought his lips down on Kurt's, he let it happen. Selfishly, cruelly, unrepentantly, Kurt let Blaine kiss him. He let Blaine draw him close. He let him deepen the kiss, let him trace his lips with his sweet tongue. Let him take claim, let him burn through Kurt's soul.

When Blaine brought his hands to Kurt's shirt, he didn't protest. Blaine's movements grew more anxious, needier; bringing Kurt out of his stupor and soon they were both tumbling to the bed, struggling to get out of their clothes and when that became too much of an effort, they discarded only their pants. And while Kurt's focused all his thoughts on marking every second of their last time together, Blaine carried a chorus of 'Yes!', 'Mine', 'Fuck', 'So beautiful', 'Love you', 'Don't leave me alone' that would probably haunt Kurt for the rest of his life. Blaine kissed every one of Kurt's tears away and chanted his love over and over again, not realizing that Kurt's mind was already made up and this was only another memory to add to all the others. Memories that Kurt would cherish forever.

"I love you,' Kurt said later while Blaine was getting his pants back up. They had cleaned up and Kurt had sent a quick thank you to the Universe for the fact that his family seemed to be missing at the moment and hadn't heard them through the open door. Blaine looked up and he must have heard something in Kurt's voice because he face crumbled down.

"Please, Kurt. You promised! You said...You promised me you'd never say goodbye to me," his voice was wavering with a new flood of tears. His words went straight to Kurt's heart, like a bullet. The shot was so efficient; Kurt put a hand to his chest, expecting to find blood there.

"I won't let you become something tainted," he took a deep breath and kept his eyes on Blaine. Later he realized that he'd been trying to imprint every detail of his lovely face into his memory. Even angry and heart-broken, he was still the most beautiful boy Kurt had ever seen.

"So you're just going to give up?" Blaine voice was harsh with condemnation but it was everything Kurt deserved.

"I'm not giving up. I'm just trying to preserve what we have."

Blaine's face had gradually hardened through the argument and he was now glaring furiously at Kurt.

"Bullshit. You're just scared! You're a coward."

"Maybe I am," Kurt's voice was lifeless by that point. Nothing seemed to register beyond the despair in his chest.

"So, in your fucked-up logic you're breaking up with me so you won't have to lose me?"

He wanted to shout, 'It's not fucked-up! It's for the best,' but he didn't because that was too weak and childish. He just nodded and whispered another pointless apology.

Blaine looked away then, as if the sight of Kurt was one insult too many.

"What about what we just did? Was that just in the 'last one for the road' spirit?" he almost snarled.

Kurt's shame made his whole body flame up.

"I just needed you. I'm sorry." Except, he wasn't. He could never be sorry for that. He was however sorry (more sorry than any word could ever express) to cause Blaine so much pain. He felt numb with the need to fix this but he didn't know how.

"Don't I get a say in this? Don't I deserve more than this crap? Why... How is it alright for you to protect your heart but I can't?" Blaine's eyes were back on his and the sorrow Kurt could see there was life-changing. Kurt would never forgive himself for that look. "You make me fall in love with you, you make me transfer schools for you, you make me make plans with you and now you're just taking it all away? In the name of what?"

Despite his guilt and suffering, Kurt's spine snapped up in bristle defense.

"You're the one who decided to go to school on _the other side of the country_," Kurt yelled the last part. "You're the one who couldn't even look me in the eyes to tell me that you weren't coming to New York!"

"So, what? I'm planning a career for myself and that makes me the bad guy? Why aren't you coming to California with me? Why does it have to be all about you all the time?"

That hurt. It was never all about Kurt. They were always equal partners and if the truth was to be told, Kurt had always felt like he was the one left to the side. Blaine was always slightly more popular, more successful, more easily pleased.

"Well, you can't have everything," he said before he could think better of it.

Blaine's gasp was more visible than audible. The hurt registered so quickly on his face that Kurt had almost reached out to him. It was not true, Blaine didn't have everything and Kurt was taking away one of the only good things going for him. His face turned as cold as stone and he gave a resolute nod.

"Okay, Kurt," his voice was so politely indifferent, Kurt's eyes widened. "I'll say it for you then. Good-bye."

And that was it. Blaine was out of the house and driving his car away before Kurt realized he was taking his stuff with him. Later Finn had to go to Blaine's and get it all back while Kurt sat on his bed unable to move, breathe or even think. For the next few days he let things happen to him. He let his father drive him to New York. He let Julliard's freshmen orientation happen to him. He let his roommate happen to him. Nothing registered. Nothing mattered. A few days after he settled in New York, he received a package from Ohio. His dad had sent him his cell phone that he had deliberately left back home. It took him a whole week and people pestering him (namely his father and Rachel) for him to switch it back on. He was surprised that the device didn't crash down with the avalanches of texts and missed calls he found.

None of them had been from Blaine.

Kurt learned to live with the consequences of his acts. He taught himself to be strong on his own again. He made himself go to class every day, head held high, shoulders square and goals straight ahead. Of course, he hated himself so much at the time and missed his love so desperately, focusing on Julliard, his studies and his sore muscles was the best way to not lose his head. And while the first few months were the sheer torture of Blaine constantly nagging the back of his mind and settling more stubbornly into his heart, he learned to live with that too.

Over the years he came to realize that the only thing he really wanted to protect was himself. He knew Blaine, he knew how easily people loved him and he knew how very much he was going to succeed in every endeavor he took. Kurt couldn't face the possibility of becoming a burden, someone that only held him back. He wanted all of Blaine and he couldn't have him anymore. It was perhaps the hardest, coming to terms with the kind of person he was. Someone who was willing to sacrifice everything but not his heart even if it meant hurting people in the process.

And now here he was, not exactly back at square one but close enough. While he knew and accepted that Blaine would never be his love again, he would treasure the moments they shared as friends. He was excited at the idea of getting to know Blaine all over again. He knew Blaine the boy and he loved that boy but he wanted to get to know Blaine the man.

His thoughts were interrupted by his phone vibrating on his side table. He quickly dried his cheek from the tears that had fallen during his painful trail down memory lane and grabbed his phone.

From Santana:

_So freaking Charming._

Kurt tapped his finger absentmindedly on the link below the words. When the page loaded and his eyes took in the picture from Perez Hilton's blog, he bolted upright on the bed. It was a picture of him and Blaine from last night. They were on the red carpet; Kurt's hand was on Blaine's shoulder as he leaned over it to whisper something into his ear. The title of the picture was: _Broadway Prince's new beau? Hubba Hubba! _

Kurt was going to kill that idiot in his sleep. Hubba Hubba? Who even said that anymore?

He remembered the moment the picture was taken. Blaine had been so star struck by Adele that Kurt's heart had melted and he'd felt the need to reassure him.

"Yes, Blaine! It's her. I'll introduce you later."

Kurt was unable to tear his eyes away from the picture. They looked good together. Comfortable and smiling easily. There was a strange kind of intimacy in the way they leaned into each other, without a second thought. He liked the picture but unfortunately he wouldn't be the only one. He was used to all of this: the press, the crazy speculations, the misguided idiocy and hypocrisy of the show business. He'd been dwelling in it for the last decade. Blaine had not and Kurt hoped this wouldn't be too much for him to handle. What if this changed everything? What if Blaine didn't want any of this in his life? Kurt could understand of course. Who in their right mind would want that?

His phone vibrated with another text.

From Tina:

_You guys!_

_:D_

And another link. This time with the whole gang and Adam Levine. Blaine sandwiched between Finn and Kurt. His smile was genuine but it hinted to a little fear and it made Kurt smile. He understood Tina's inarticulateness. This was cute beyond words.

From Mercedes:

_It's hard to stay mad at someone who looks like a puppy._

This time it was a picture that she took herself the night before of the Anderson siblings laughing together.

From Carole:

_Call me!_

From Santana:

_Oh this is gun' be good!_

The evil laughter was implied with the text, of course.

And thus his morning carried on. He showered and then answered his publicist nagging texts about the whole ordeal.

From Ruthie:

_You could've at least warned me. Don't I deserve at least that consideration?_

To which he replied:

_Since when is my personal life up __for __discussion?_

From Ruthie:

_Since Mr. Handsome is completely unknown and swoon worthy._

To which he replied while rolling his eyes:

_That is so far from the realm of professionalism, I can't even understand you any more Ruthie._

(He could tell her that Blaine was actually Mrs. Anderson's son and thus not a complete stranger but he wouldn't. That would teach her. Swoon worthy! Psh!)

From Ruthie:

_A little warning would have been nice. Also, professionalism can bite my juicy bum. Have you seen those eyes?_

He clenched his jaw and reminded himself that he was actually quite fond of Ruthie. He quickly typed a reply and left to make himself breakfast before he went too far and actually started looking for a new publicist.

From Kurt:

_Do your job! I don't talk about my personal life. No comment, as per usual. Say hi to Jeremy for me._

(The last part was for his own benefit. Jeremy was Ruthie's husband.)

Later, as he rejoiced in the laziness of having nothing better to do than lounge on his sofa while watching bad reality TV, he got a call from Rachel.

"How's the hangover?" she asked morosely. She was clearly more affected than he was.

"I wasn't that drunk."

"Lucky bastard."

"Actually just cautious. It's never good to be drunk around you lot. Especially with Blaine-," he cut himself short but the damage was already done. He didn't know why he brought him up but it really couldn't be helped. Blaine was the theme of the day.

"Speaking of which...," she started slyly and he could hear the satisfied smile in her voice. He seriously needed new friends.

"Yes, Rachel. I have seen the pictures. Let's remain adults about all this and not make a big deal out of it."

She sighed. "I wasn't going to," and he could see the pout as clearly as if he was standing in front of her.

"Good because this is new for Blaine and it would be good if we could show him that it's not something he should fear," sometimes he felt like the only grown up left in their group.

"Well, maybe he should. I don't need to remind you that these people are absolute snakes."

No, she didn't but Blaine didn't need to know that.

"Well, we'll be his safe haven."

"Awww!" Rachel cooed and Kurt winced.

"Ugh! If you ever do that again, I'm erasing your existence from my memory," he drawled and she had the guts to laugh at him.

"Alright Grumpy. I have to go. Your sourness is making my headache worse."

Kurt smirked. "Good."

"You're a horrible person. I love you."

"Mhm. Love you too."

He went back to his television and tried not to fret over something that clearly couldn't be helped. Later he made himself lunch (a pasta salad and grilled chicken) and answered some of his friends' texts. Not Santana's; she was having more fun than was necessary. Her last text was:

From Santana:

_Since you're obviously picture cataloguing your renewed friendship does this mean that videos of naked times are in your future?_

Yes, he needed a new set of friends.

Just when he was settling into his office with the _Glory Days_ script, he heard his phone signal the arrival of a new text. He rolled his eyes, ready to cut a bitch but he stopped short, breath stuck in his throat.

From Unknown Number:

_I can't believe I met Adele last night._

And there was a picture, a personal picture, of Blaine and Adele, cheek to cheek and smiling brightly to the camera.

From Kurt:

_She'll never recover. And hello! How's your head?_

Kurt smiled as he added Blaine's number to his contact list. Somehow, the gesture seemed to concretize Blaine's return in Kurt's life. They had each other's numbers again. It was real.

From Blaine:

_Sorry!_

_Hi!_

_And my head's still on my shoulder but I wonder for how long._

_It hurts, Kurt._

From Kurt:

_Clearly, it doesn't slow you down._

From Blaine:

_This ain't my first hangover, Broadway Prince._

Kurt's smile faltered and he replied with shaky fingers:

_My publicist called you Mr. Handsome and "swoon worthy" this morning_.

From Blaine:

_Damn, still not a prince._

From Kurt:

_Don't lose hope just yet._

There was a pause in the exchange during which Kurt wondered if he hadn't gone too far but he was reassured when he received:

_Thank you very much for last night._

From Kurt:

_You're welcome_.

From Blaine:

_How embarrassing was I?_

From Kurt:

_That is a secret between me and Drunk Blaine._

From Blaine:

_Crap!_

Kurt laughed out loud at that.

From Kurt:

_Are you okay, though?_

From Blaine:

_Are you talking about the fact that my mug is on every gossip blog in the webosphere and that my home phone has been ringing non-stop while my cell is flooded with __texts__ from my clueless friends?_

From Kurt:

_Yeah… that._

From Blaine:

_It's strange but I'm okay._

_Hey! What are you doing this afternoon?_

From Kurt:

_I have to work._

From Blaine:

_It's Sunday!_

_You're Boring, Hummel!_

From Kurt:

_A Broadway Prince never stops working._

From Blaine:

_Well, this afternoon he's coming with me to my favorite bakery._

In that moment, Kurt was trapped between the need to shake his head at this man who obviously was still a boy at heart and smile because he actually just wanted to hang out with Kurt.

From Kurt:

_Time and place?_

A/N: Tada! I really hope you enjoyed it! Thank you all for sticking up with me and my silly ways. I will have an update soon, I promise. Thanks again to Sasha and Dee. You guys mean the world to me._  
><em>


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